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My girlfriend and I were friends 7 months prior getting into a relationship. We would talk on the phone for hours about each others day, when we would not talk for a few days we would bring each other up to speed, and often we would stay up talking about the randomest things. haha. About the 3rd month into our friendship, she got into a relationship with some guy she met at a party. Fairly quickly too. At first, she would talk about him constantly. I would scroll down my facebook and see pictures of them kissing, holding hands, and all the typical stuff new couples post. We kind of stopped talking for a little while because I wanted to give her her space. About a month and a half of not hearing from her, she called. It sounded like she wasn't happy. Apparently, he started treating her like shit. He would go on dates with other girls while they were seeing each other, they wouldn't text or call each other for days at a time, and all in all he was very shitty to her. She stayed with him for about 3 months. In those months, she would constantly call me to complain about what a dick he was. I was always there for her because I legit cared about her and her safety. This guy was just the worst. Now that we are in a relationship, I sometimes wonder what it was that possessed her to stay in a relationship so toxic. I would never in a million years but anyone I was seeing through childish stuff like that. I get depressed because of her decision to stay with him for as long as she did. I sometimes feel like there were a lot of good moments and thats why she stayed. I can't get the picture of them together out of my head and it's really causing me a great deal of anxiety as well. We have been together for almost 4 months and I love her to death. She is everything I want in a partner but somehow, I can't let go of her past.
Does this even make sense?
Sorry for ranting.
I just need someone to tell me I'm not over reacting. And if I am, tell me as well so I can stop lol
Does this even make sense?
Sorry for ranting.
I just need someone to tell me I'm not over reacting. And if I am, tell me as well so I can stop lol
I suspect you're thinking she blew you off for him as a 'first choice' and only because he was a jerk, did you get her; so this might be some kind of ego-jolt for you, but the reality is this:
if he hadn't been a jerk, she would still be with him.
You got her.
you have her now.
And that is all there is.
You are going to have to work through this on your own as a part of growing up. it is to do with growing up - and the sooner you realise that it doesn't matter where she's been, it's where she's going that counts,the sooner you can start to enjoy what the gods have thrown in your lap.
Do NOT look a gift horse in the mouth. Look that up if you don't know what it means. :D
All the best and well played, man. Well played. :)
Fine ... I guess ... if you want to play the safety net. I don't do 'safety net'.
I think she will go for the next thing that 'looks like a better deal'.
I also recommend you have DS change your account ID to something anonymous. You can do that with this form:
http://www.dailystrength.org/help/feedback
A lot of people stay in a bad relationship because they are afraid of being without a relationship. Sort of the "a bad boyfriend is better than no boyfriend" thing.
Put her ex behind you. Look at it this way, if she stayed in a bad relationship because she was afraid to be single, then she will be very happy to stay in a good relationship with you!
Comparison is the thief of joy.
GBU
D
;-O