Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Since this depressive episode started 1.5 years ago all I have wanted was to find my self and heal from my old wounds. My problem is I feel I can't concentrate on me if my husband is expecting me to focus on our failing marriage. He wants me to be caring, cuddly, loving, in love. I'm not I am hurting, depressed, broken, guarded, I trust no one and I want to just be left to myself to figure out what i really want and need. I was living apart for a bit, but the depression got bad and I couldn't be alone. I had to moved back in. Now I fell smothered to show affection and express love. I dont feel it. I am not in love. I am sad and my head is cloudy. I am trying to focus on me getting better, but I feel so guilty taking time to my self. I am at that point that don't care what happens anymore. I would be ok living by myself. Is there anyone who can relate?
When I realized that I was not only angry and upset at how others were treating me, I was also mostly angry at myself for not doing what I know I should have. The most effective way to get back on track is for you to ask God to forgive you, and then you must forgive yourself. Once you have done that, then you can forgive others, especially your husband. It seems to me from what you have written that you are harboring a lot of resentment and confusion, and you do not have the first idea of how to fix it.
Forgiveness is a miraculous healing tool given to us for occasions just like this. I do think it is time to go to your doctor and see if he can change your medicine. That may help immensely. The other thing you need to do is to go on a self-cleansing retreat. It may sound kind of silly, but I have done it a few times and it really did help to open my eyes and broaden my view. I also went to the beach and just walked and picked up seashells. I made a sandcastle, and then treated myself to a shrimp dinner.
Do you realize how important that is for your overall health?
These are only suggestions based on my experience, but they did work for me. When I feel like I am slipping, I go an do it agin.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, and may God give you the strength and courage you need to heal, and may He bless you with the love and peace that you so desperately need.
Bless you, my friend.
Karen