Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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OH2186
OH2186

Hi internet world, I am dealing with a bad anxiety/depressive episode and am looking for some help/support/advice if anyone can lend it.  Without making this a novel some quick background-- I have dealt with panic/anxiety/depression for the last 10 years.  I had my first panic attack about 10 years ago and when I told my family I needed help it was dismissed and I was told to get over it and people had it worse than me.  This made me feel extremely guilty and I kept all my feelings private while I spiraled out of control with constant worry/anxiety/and depression that new rules my life daily for the most part.  


As I became more withdrawn my friends didnt really help either, I have close friends but they are not a touchy feely group.  As a result I spent most of my 20's and early 30's hidden and reading every self help book I could get my hands on (My kindle library probably paid amazons electric bill).  While this self help did help a little, it didnt help alot of my issues and I basically gritted my teeth to get through each day.  On the surface I have a good career, a house, a dog but im not happy at all.


Recently, I have been spiraling into depression as my birthday approaches (going to be 34).  I have realized I have not really done anything with my life and wasted most of my 20's lost in anxiety and depression.  I have a career thats unfulling, no family, no wife, no girlfriend.... Im starting to feel like what is the point of anything.  I am not suicidal , I want to live but its more of a point of view that Im not sure why we are on this earth and what we should be doing. 


To take the situation a step further I have a friend getting married who is the last of my friends/family that was single--- this leaves only me.  I cant tell you how lonely this is.  I have always been awkward talking to girls and have only had a few gf's in my lifetime.  I have tried every dating site, every social event but im the guy who is nice but only lives in the friend zone.  I am routinely the 3rd wheel at everything and am usually the butt of jokes that I cant get a gf.


I just feel like nothing is going right and I'm stuck in life, I dont know how to make it better but have limited support in my social circles.  It doesnt seem like anyone understands.  I have recently spoken to both a psychiatrist and a therapist and have been doing so for a few months but I feel like I am a transaction to them and they dont really support me.


Im not sure if anyone on here has experienced anything similiar but any kind of support would be appreciated.  TY.

SirGrits
SirGrits
When I hear a man that's looking to find meaning in life, I immediately think of my meaning. I'm a Christian you see. I'm not actually going to go any further down that rabbit hole right here and now. But I am going to recommend that you find a church nearby, or plug in deeper within your existing church. Plugging in to a church checks off just about every box of missing items from your post--or at least it starts to. Don't expect everything to magically fall into place once you go, just take it easy. Shop around even, find a church that fits best. Once you find one, you don't have to jump into the deep end right away. Maybe see how it's structured some; like Sunday school vs small group vs Bible study or whatever. Try and discover the point for yourself, through patience and with an open heart.
God speed bro.
solitudeisnear
solitudeisnear
Hi, Thanks for sharing. I too find myself lately falling into this way of thinking and feeling. I think SirGrits is right try to reach out to a church or if that's not what your seeking, at least try changing to different therapists. This does take a little bit of a process but I am sure you will find a fit. As for looking at some of the negatives, I'm reminding myself to look for the gratitude in anything from sunsets, to animals, to favorite foods, to whatever you name it, keep looking for the positives in each day. Try listing three a day or at least three things that are good that happened each day. Stay strong and hang in there, we are here for you. This time will too pass as long as we work and it and let it. If we stay stuck it brings us down lower, get out and walk, take up a class your interested in, visit a pet store, the options are really limitless we just have to do it, which I know you can!!
luvmygirl4
luvmygirl4
Panic attacks are very real, and people suck. Unless you've experienced one people will have no idea how horrible they are.

As far as feeling like you've wasted time, I think everyone gets that to a degree. But don't dwell on it, just move on. Find a hobby, volunteer group, religious things or something to help your life feel more full.

Friends and relatives get married, and you might have less time with them, but hopefully they still do the things they enjoyed doing with you. Their marriage shouldn't end your friendship. But I reference back to finding something to do with your time and you will likely meet new friends as well.