I am one of the most jealous people you will ever meet.

I get it!

For me...I finally got tired (I'm not cured by any means, but I'm better)...I finally got tired of thinking I'm not good enough.

I seemed to look around at everyone that I thought was better looking than me. Then I started to see people that I was better looking than (and I realized how superficial I was being)...but I would say to myself...how do I think that person weighing 250 pounds...can barely walk...hair messy....clothes messy feel?

I heard that God gave me what I have and wants me to value it...I learned that I am unique....and there is no one like me. I self talked myself into...that if my boyfriend was going to leave me...he was leaving a very sweet, giving..funny, unique person and that it would be his loss...Over looks?

I used to buckle at the least bit of critisim....yesterday...my b/f told me my shoes didn't look good with my dress....In the past..only about 2 weeks ago...before taking my antidepressant..I would have freaked out..thinking I was useless...ugly...non stylish...but I instead...went 2 ways with it....at first I said...I like the shoes...and I'm wearing them....showed confidence.

Then I looked in mirror and was able to say calmly...without crying..and thinking of all the girls that have beautiful shoes..I said your right...I need new shoes...and went and got some.

I just keep telling myself I am special...there is no one like me...and there is no one like YOU...you are special. Play up the best parts of you that no one else has...your personality....your hair...lips...:) - I have very small lips and am very conscious of them...so I do my best...using lip liner and researching the right colors.

My key to getting better is self talk and medication.
And I talk to my b/f when I'm jealous...if he acts a certain way with a girl that I don't like...I tell him how it made me feel and ask for the situation to be handled different in the future.

For example: There was a girl at a bar we went to she was just PRESENT....not even talking to my b/f...but my b/f was so engaged in conversation with a guy...that he hardly paid attention to me all night.

So in the car..I said "I wish you would at least acknowledge me a couple times in public....arm around me....kiss....something.".

The next time we went to the bar..I played the juke box and he was signing the song loudly inserting...I love my girl....and coming over to hold hands or have some sort of physical contact with me.

Hope this helps a little

Just remember that no matter how happy a person may appear, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. I was jealous of a friend of mine forever, she was always perky and seemed happy. I then found out that her husband had been cheating for most of their marriage, & she knew it. I myself could win an Oscar for acting like nothing is wrong. I do get a bit jealous myself sometimes, but not near like I used to.

I struggle with jealousy constantly! It's a new thing for me and I just hate it. I swear I spend more time thinking about other people's lives than I even think about my own life! Imagining what they must be doing, or what fun times they are probably having etc. Certain friends in particular who seem to "Have It All" - I obsess about how good they have it. I've been trying to short circuit those thoughts by reminding myself about the good things in my life - but it's hard because I can never think of many good things.

I agree with Misssy2 in the fact that positive self talk is very important. It is also important to take a look at all the good positive qualities about yourself, try making a list of those things. I used to do something called fake it till you make it. I would look at myself in the mirror several times a day everyday and even if I didn't feel like it I would smile at myself and I would tell myself that I am special and that there is no one like me and that I am beautiful. So even if I didn't feel special or beautiful I would fake it till I did finally begin to believe I was special and beautiful. God doesn't make junk, and you are a creation of God so you are a beautiful and loved being.

You might also try keeping a gratitude journal. Every day write down a few things that you are thankful for. That may also help you to see all the positive things you have going for you in your life. I know that doing these things coupled with my medication and my therapist has really helped with my jealousy. I am not cured , but I am so much better. When you have better self esteem I think you will find that your jealousy issues will not be as bad. At least that is what I am finding out. I have negative core beliefs about myself and I need to change the way I think about myself. Feeling like we are not good enough or deserving of something is all part of that. That is one reason positive self talk is so important. It is also important to surround yourself with people who will build you up and not tear you down.

I hope some of this has been helpful to you. Good luck I know what a tough issue this is to deal with. Hugs to you.

Hmmm...see I'm so jealous in one area of my life (other woman)...I didn't even think of what other posters mentioned..

Being jealous of other peoples lives....Yea...that too....I feel like I have worked my whole life really hard and have had a hard life...I'm most jealous of people that end up getting handed everything or are just born wealthy from inheritance...and have better, houses, clothes, cars, and it appears lives.

Which jealous were you speaking of? I can identify with both very well...LOL

Thank you all for your replies and thoughts.

Misssy, I'm talking about both, being jealous of others and what they seem to have that I don't, and a certain situation involving a close male friend and other women. It's kind of complicated and I'll most likely post about it eventually. Or sooner. It's a nasty monster, that jealousy.

By the way, I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention when I posted this and didn't notice that I mistyped the topic.

I think it was a Freudian slip!

Jealousy is HELL and I thought you did it on purpose! hahaha

I struggle with jealousy and resentment issues, too. I often feel inadequate when I am around other people, who seem smarter,happier, more successful, more social savvy, and better looking. I feel silly admitting to this, but sometimes(actually more often than I care to admit), I feel this way.
Sometimes, I even limit the places that I go to(such as going to the mall(,particularly the upscale places) and for some odd reason a store I won't name, but sounds like Farget or as some people refer to as Tarjay(the yuppy version of Kaymart,lol) because I might see something that might make me feel angry or depressed.
I also, don't like being around arrogant people who think they are all that and a bag of chips(and there are plenty of people out there who act this way.). Women who think they are really the cat's meow, because, they look good, are smart, social savvy, outgoing and men notice them. and you can tell they know it. I am just glad that I am not this way . Even if I had a nice figure and a good job and all, I wouldn't go around acting like this. So maybe it's not that I am jealous of these people,as much as I resent them, and feel it's not fair that they seem so happy and successful.

I like your post abbey..and I identify with it really..
Its like you can see thru people...I haven't felt like it was jealousy all the time either...sometimes...but not always..

I think its the "sickening" ness of it all. Good way to put it.