I am sorry for what you are going through. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. It is not healthy for you or for your children. I don't know if your husband is also being physically abusive. but if he is physically abusive to you, he could eventually physically abuse your children. You need to get yourself and your children out of this toxic environment. If he says abusive things to you, he is probably treating your children the same way. As their mother, it is your job to protect your children. Ask your family to help you get out of the house. Maybe you could stay with one of them until you can get back on your feet. If you expect there will be a problem leaving the house and taking your things, call the police in advance and they can be present while you get out. The police will keep you and your children safe. Have your plans made ahead of time so you can get out and go directly to the place you have arranged to stay. If you have any problems with you husband, do not hesitate to call the police. I wish you the best.

I can't believe your family would want you to stay in abusive marriage, smh. You have to do what's best for you and they should be on your side to help you get out of that situation, not want to see you stay. A man will say/threaten you in any kind of way so that you won't leave them, so of course he said that about dragging you through the mud. My ex did that to me even said he'd get an expensive lawyer to do so, it didn't happen.

If you have nowhere to go then go to a shelter as they will help you with resources to get on your feet. Please don't ever feel that all hope is lost!. There's a great quote that I live by by Eleanor Roosevelt and it's " A woman is like a teabag: you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water."

You do have what it takes to make it on your own. And you have the courage to seek out a better life for yourself and your kids. I know this because you've reached out here - you've taken the first steps against silence, abuse, and intimidation. If you can name your pain then you can face it head on, and you're not alone. There is support in your area for women trying to leave abusive relationships, there is legal help to help you keep custody of your kids, file for divorce and appeal for alimony, there are funds to help you get on your feet and support you whilst you make your way. Fight for yourself, and keep the goal of your children's security and well-being in mind. You don't want them raised in an environment where they see the effects of abuse and degradation, absorbing those lessons and thinking it's okay if it happens to them, or if the perpetrate violence on someone else. Go to a friend's house and call social services and start getting your leaving plan in place - get a PO Box, file for TANF, and talk to a social worker about domestic violence services in your area. Make a plan, leave, and then concentrate on healing and living. You deserve better. You are worth more than this. He has no power that you do not concede, so take your power and your life back and find the joy of living again. All my thoughts are with you.