Depression Support Group
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Hi again,
I felt I needed to get this off my chest as well. After my breakup I was not able to be interested in anyone. I was bummed out about it. A few months back, I met a guy, and although I didn't approach him with the intent of picking up on him, I was just making conversation, it later occurred to me that I liked him. I had somewhat of a feeling that he liked me as well, as it was my general impression. I asked myself later, "could I be romantically interested in him?" A dangerous question to try and ask myself in case of rejection, but when I answered this question, I realized just how much I was romantically attracted to him. Though I am older and been through relationships, I felt like I was catapulted back to middle school. I would just freeze when I saw him every time after that. It very much looked like he was single, as he never is with anyone at any major event. This confused and deceived me as did the conversation we had and its content and the way he sort of lead it and questions he asked.
It occurred to me later, frankly, that this guy might be out of my league, so I decided not to pursue it too much. Perhaps I was right because when I see him around I got the impression that he changed his attitude, nothing too obvious, but I suddenly felt different, like stay away. I was really surprised to learn that he probably has a girlfriend from general conversation with others, I was just stunned. Truthfully, I should not be, I should know better than to get nuts over someone I don't know. But I did against my better judgment. Now I frankly feel suffocated whenever I see him. It's like a knife in my solar plexus when I hear about him in regards to other person. It should not be as I never had a relationship with him. Maybe I was just trying to replace the loss of my other relationship. What bothers me the most is that for no particular reason I feel like he is aware of it and disdains me, though there is no evidence of it. I feel like a criminal for falling over hard for this guy. Lots of ppl go to his house for events and things, and now I am not comfortable joining even though nearly everyone I know goes. I feel like he would not want me there. What the hell was I thinking??
I felt I needed to get this off my chest as well. After my breakup I was not able to be interested in anyone. I was bummed out about it. A few months back, I met a guy, and although I didn't approach him with the intent of picking up on him, I was just making conversation, it later occurred to me that I liked him. I had somewhat of a feeling that he liked me as well, as it was my general impression. I asked myself later, "could I be romantically interested in him?" A dangerous question to try and ask myself in case of rejection, but when I answered this question, I realized just how much I was romantically attracted to him. Though I am older and been through relationships, I felt like I was catapulted back to middle school. I would just freeze when I saw him every time after that. It very much looked like he was single, as he never is with anyone at any major event. This confused and deceived me as did the conversation we had and its content and the way he sort of lead it and questions he asked.
It occurred to me later, frankly, that this guy might be out of my league, so I decided not to pursue it too much. Perhaps I was right because when I see him around I got the impression that he changed his attitude, nothing too obvious, but I suddenly felt different, like stay away. I was really surprised to learn that he probably has a girlfriend from general conversation with others, I was just stunned. Truthfully, I should not be, I should know better than to get nuts over someone I don't know. But I did against my better judgment. Now I frankly feel suffocated whenever I see him. It's like a knife in my solar plexus when I hear about him in regards to other person. It should not be as I never had a relationship with him. Maybe I was just trying to replace the loss of my other relationship. What bothers me the most is that for no particular reason I feel like he is aware of it and disdains me, though there is no evidence of it. I feel like a criminal for falling over hard for this guy. Lots of ppl go to his house for events and things, and now I am not comfortable joining even though nearly everyone I know goes. I feel like he would not want me there. What the hell was I thinking??
ZAZAS
I don't understand, you had a relationship with him but you only had one conversation with him? I think he may be your rebound person.
Persi
I think you became attached to this person before even knowing them. It does happen, and it an be displacement. You were probably still in a very sensitive place. It's easy to romanticize people especially at a distance. You wanted to be in a relationship and decided he would be the one to help you get back into a relationship. Then when you thought you were ready. bam the truth. I think for me, if it had happened to me, what I would probably have issues with is reading to much into, and using it as a justification to shut down romantic possibilities. Not saying that would be true with you, but it might account for some of the feelings
PinterestFan
We like who we like, you didn't do anything wrong, and you could be wrong about his disdain. But if you're not wrong, and he just turned against you for no reason, you can forget him as quickly as you started liking him. Nothing ventured...
gramybear
You have nothing to feel guilty about and you should continue to do what you would normally do. I think you have talked yourself into believing that he doesn't want you around. The mind works in very difficult ways. Don't change what you would normally do until you are told differently. Hugs GB
muskrattiger
I think if you were not welcome there he would tell you ....it hurt I think because maybe you are eater ready for a relationship or missing being in one ...it is hard to say what is relay going on here because with depression.is concerned our emotions gan be all over and we can't always be sure witch ones are real ....at that moment ...and witch ones are because we have so much going on in our heads ....you should not feel like .a criminal for having feelings for someone ...even if they are not returned ....has he made you feel like he doesn't.. want you there or is that coming form you ..maybe this is a sing that you are ready to have a new relationship in your life ....it just came out that way ....I think if you stay away you won't get over this but if you go to these parties you went to before you will become more comfortable as time passes... you might need to examine..once more how this all came about and how you were feeling in your depression when it happened .... I. could be wrong ...I just think ...that no harm was done here and you need to see that and be able to feel that ....sometimes we meet people that we just like and there is no reason they might not or might like us ...but that doesn't mean you have to be embarised about how you feel ... because you might meet someone that you don't like and they like you ....it is just part of life ......I think what people need to do is to love the parts of them they can love and accept the rest .....that doesn't mean that you need to spend time with them ......I hope you work out your feelings no mater how it works out it is ok ....take care of your self ...god bless
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