so guess what : its my b day.i just want to crawl into a hole and die. i am not getting any younger and i have nothing to show for myself. never have been able to save money so i have no money. dont even have a job right now as just got fired last friday.people say well you have your health. no i dont even have that.meds are making my life livable from day to day. but the one thing i love more than life itself is to cook. and i am loosing my ability to do that as well. my wifes health is getting worse each year. my own son moved out and refused to speak to me . havent spoken to him in a year and a half since he moved out. i literally have no friends. they all stopped talking to me when i became a full time caregiver for my wife. my wife is stressed and cranky and we havent been getting along the past few days. she can barely work and feels that she has to push herself harder because i lost my job. which means its only a matter of days before she ends up in the hospital AGAIN from overworking. dr's told her to take it easy. my family and i went seperate ways about 2.5 years ago. havent spoken to them since. i literally have no one and nothing. if i die at least my wife can stop working so hard and start to get better. my family and son would love it if i was dead . i wouldnt have to miss my passion of cooking that i can no longer do. so i guess my death is only a win for all involved. anyways just ranting. but seriously considering the possibilities of death.