I spent many years wanting to feel like other people looked, and I did that without ever stopping to speculate as to how they might feel themselves. The cover of a book *might* be reflective of its actual content, but using the cover of someone else's book to determine anything related to the content of my own...well, that just never worked out well.

I do not know why some people seem able to just bubble on through While others of us more typically struggle in life, but I do tend to doubt things are always as they seem even for folks appearing to be the happiest or most-content in life.

I SUGGEST U MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST.
IT WILL MAKE U SMILE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
DONT TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY.
GBU
DRENA B
;-O

I think it's a very good question to ask, if you're not being rhetorical. What is it about happy people that makes them happy?

Are their lives any better than ours? No.

Do they have more money? No.

Are they healthier? No.

Are they prettier? Only because they are smiling.

I wonder which is the chicken and which is the egg. Is the happiness caused by the smiling positivity, or is the smiling positivity caused by the happiness? Or is there a feedback loop taking place, where it doesn't matter which you start with?

Lee: Your family may not have verbally encouraged you, but you looked at them and were encouraged and motivated to do what you
Had to do for the betterment of all.

I am most often motivated by praise.

Apologies. Wrong thread.

Agree, others might not be any happier than you are, they might just be tougher, possess an inner resolve that perhaps you lack, that enables them to push through whatever negative circumstances they might be in, and smile anyway.

Rather than sitting by idly being secretly jealous of other people who seem happier than you, go up and TALK to them, ask them questions, listen to them. You might just be surprised at their woes, and, in interacting with them, you might just learn some things and become stronger yourself.

Koolman has a point.
At times, my vision gets so poor I can't see face on people three feet away from me, so I smile in case the person is a friend. The funny thing is, I get a lot of positive responses from people I do not know. I would never have started smiling at these folks that I don't know, if I had known I did not know them. What is on the outside often does not reflect what is inside and probably does not matter anyway.
Very few people do not want to be liked.
Working at making your life better will produce more than wondering about others who may or may not be happier.

#7 I loved your statement, "Very few people do not want to be liked."

...That is so true. I love people and I love to talk to people and make them smile. I'm goofy and have a self-depreciating humor and I try not to be too serious. I'm still insecure but I try not to show it so much. People like 'positive'. I'm sincere but lighthearted. ...Just open up a little. People will love it. It's all about liking yourself. You have to like 'you' first.

You're one of a kind. There's something about you that no one else has. That makes you special. Share it.

>> I smile in case the person is a friend... I get a lot of positive responses from people I do not know.

It would be difficult to view poor vision as an overall asset, but now we know it does not have to be a liability in the social department!
'Passing out smiles" is a great way to let other people know we are aware of their existence right along with our own.

There are often many broken hearts and pain you can't see behind the smiles you see on others. I have mixed feelings if I agree with the theory of smiling through your pain. Sometimes it seems very fake and dismissive of a person's true feelings. Sometimes it seems like the better alternative to isolation and misery. There is some truth to the old adage "Smile and the world smiles with you; cry and you cry alone."

As to why you don't seem to be as happy and in love with life as you perceive others to be; I think you may be trying too hard.

Happiness cannot be pursued and captured. It comes over you just like sadness. I think some of us poor souls just feel the sadness more than others. I too have always felt I was missing something. How could all these people seem so damn happy? On my best days, it seems I felt just okay. But, every once in a while, every once in a blue moon... happiness comes shining down. it's worth waiting for and trying to remember that feeling when you're down.

Life is a cycle of events. Your brain and it's chemistry determine how you feel about them. The chemistry can leave you swimming in misery but your brain, your thoughts, your logic (the only part under your control) - ah that's the piece that can whisper "this too shall pass."