I hope your husband wakes up. Marriage is about growth and changing, and dealing with challenges and joys together. What ever happened to "for better and for worse?"

At least we understand. Strength to you!!!

Bob CJ

My hubby is trying his best to cope. He just doesn't get it either. He can't understand how we share a life yet mine seems so bad when he's dealing just fine. I've tried to explain but he just can't understand because he's not going through it. Try and stay strong. Focus on you. You wont get better stressing about the what if's. Tell him you need him to be strong a while longer. He's your husband, he's supposed to be there to lean on. Know you're not alone. Hang in there.

When I got sick with RA and asthma and severe depression, my husband was also very angry at me. It takes a long time to understand the changes, and the suffering.

Somehow we made it through it all. You need to educate your husband as to what you are going through. If the only reason he married you was to "use" you for your talents, then I have to question that. We marry someone for who they are, warts and all. And if new warts develop, which they usually do, we have to be there for the person. I am sorry you are going through this.

When you find out what is going on, ask him to go to a doctor's appointment. When I went for my appointments about getting my foot reconstructed, it was the first time my husband really "got" what I was going through. It still took time, but our marriage is so much better. Plus I can warn him when I have flares or med related side effects and he knows it is not me being lazy, but serious diseases.

Hugs and remember you are worthwhile because you are YOU! Not because of what you do or accomplish.

Megan, I'm so sorry for all you are going through. Being sick and in pain is bad enough, but when family members don't understand, that makes life so much harder.

Kristieblue has a good suggestion...ask your hubby to go to the doctor's with you. Maybe if he hears from the doctor how sick you are, he will understand.

And, like LostWinter said, "ask him to be strong". Maybe if your hubby realizes you have to depend on him more, he will want to help you instead of criticize. Maybe he'll want to be your protector instead of your adversary.

It's hard to understand how some people just don't have empathy for others who are in pain or sick. I'll keep praying that your husband, as well as LostWinter's husband, will start to be kinder and more helpful.

I agree with bob. You married for better or worse in sickness and in health. You probably haven't found the right meds yet and just need some time. I hope you feel better soon.

Whew, honey, just read your post and no wonder you're having seizures and migraines! You probably hadn't noticed, but that's a huge "plate" you've been carrying. Working two jobs and going to school full time and being a fulfilliing the role of wife is certainly means to work up an over-sized stress induced break down. No wonder you're struggling with your classes and having seizures at work. No body can do this life style long term without suffering consequences. You were smart then; you are still smart now. Just feeling the consequences of "bitting off a little more than you can chew". I wholeheartedly agree with your counselor, adivsor and teacher. You need a break from something; since your schoolwork is suffering may as well start there. As they pointed out; you can pick it up in the spring. A much needed break is necessary for you. Husband was drawn to you no doubt because of your ambition; holding down 2 jobs and striving to improve yourself by going to school are not the attributes of a lazy person. Tiime for him to take a reality check. Does he also work 2 jobs and go to school? Sometimes, our love ones have "unrealistic" expectations of us. Gently remind him of this and focus on healing for yourself. No wonder the house is a mess; with you gone most of the time, if he dosen't contribute there is no way, other than hiring a cleaning service that you could juggle all this. Recommend that you seek a qualified therapist to assist you in setting boundaries and goals that are reasonable for you. Suggest Husband join you in counseling; it will help you both to address issues that may be too "intensive" for you to address outside the trusting environment of a trained therapist. Sounds like he needs to adjust his attitude to a more realistic expectation of his wife.

Also, it may be that you need to speak with doc about changing your meds so that you are not suffering the side effects so drastically.

Good Luck and Best Wishes.

(((Hugs)))

Thank you guys so much for your advice. I try so hard but I am so tired. I went to the doctor today and he said I had strep just another thing I have to deal with. My husband ran away as soon as he found out. He is a medic and works so much we cannot afford for both of us to miss work. He says he is going to my next dr appt. He is very angry with my dr. He wants my meds changed he says they are not working for me anyways and they are making me so foggy. I wish I was still that smart person he admired but lately I just cannot do anything right takiing him with me seems to be the only answer. All I can do is fight the fogginess and try harder. Just wish there was a better way to tell him I need help sometimes

Oh Megan that is so sad! :( Maybe your husband needs to go to your next Dr. appt & have it explained to him. My husband is finally used to my depression/over sensitivity & has learned to deal with it. You remind your husband the vows were "in sickness AND in health". ((hugs))

I read a couple of Bible verses lately "in these last days, men will become lovers of self' & "natural affection will be lost in these last days". I think it is a sign of the times were in..it's all about me, me,me! SOOO sad! :(

I understand this. I use to work two jobs and went to school. My bad health won out and I had to first quite on job, that didn't help. Then had to quit the other job and school. It hurts and I don't think anyone understands how bad it hurts to go from one person in control to someone you don't even understand. It hurts.

I hope your doctor can help you. Are you on and a/ds? Or other medicine for your depression? Wishing the best to you and yours.

He is a medic ... and does not understand your MEDICAL issues?

You are not alone. My husband feels that our marriage is failing and has had me go to my parents house while he gets his head together. It feels like a complete rejection and he tells me he doesn't feel trusted because apparently I didn't tell him about being depressed clearly enough and he doesn't understand when I get irrational. I'm physically handicap w/ chronic pain in my right leg from the hip down. I have been fighting the idea of filing for disability for years and have finally broken down to start the application. It terrifies me because I quit going to the doc for my disability since the only thing the docs did was keep drugging me and suggesting amputation from the hip down. My husband can't seem to grasp how horrifying it is to consider having to go to the doc again.