I suppose I should add that this topic is something that has always been very important to me, because I have always felt that I'm not quite a "normal" girl.
I was raised as an only girl with three older brothers in a home where I was not treated any differently than the boys. I helped Dad with DIY home reno projects, and I helped Mom with her crafts. All the boys, same deal - helped Mom and Dad with their "jobs". I was never made to feel like I was different than the boys in any other way than the fact that I had to sit to go pee. I also never watched a lot of TV as a kid, and did not have the internet til late highschool and was never interested in magazines and etc, so I feel like I was never as heavily influenced by popular gender images as most girls were.

So when I hear guys talk about how they view things and feel about thing (and they are usually really open with me, I am easy to talk to that way) it seems they are extremely similar to me. So I feel like I'm not the right female standard to be holding males up to in order to judge our sameness or differentness.

I'm right with you!!! I have always been a 'tomboy' and I can usually relate to males much more easily than I can to females!!!
Help!!! I'm a man trapped in a woman's body, except for sexually!!!

I think there are some differences, but how big or significant depends on the eye of the beholder.

I generally get along with men better than women. I think there are characteristics that women tend to have more than men, such as more likely to gossip, hold grudges, be catty, wanting an argument to persist longer than it needs to be, etc.

I've also found that men and women communicate differently. Like if i say I had a bad day, for instance, my female friends tend to more likely just sit back and lend an ear where a lot of men feel you're telling them the problem so they can "solve" it for you. No right or wrong there, just differences.

I have also found that men and women communicate differently, in general. Like if you ask a woman what's wrong and she says "nothing," that means -- red flag -- something is def. wrong. Ask a man, and he'll usually say something like I don't want to talk about it or brush it off but he really doesnt want to talk about it, where if a woman says "nothing" it means I want you to pry it outta me.

God, i could go on forever on this.

Wait, I hit "add" too fast.

But, on the whole, when it comes to the things you listed, I think the first four often tend to be huge differences. The last two, not so much.

See, that's the thing.. I don't relate with males better than with females - I relate quite well with both. When I hear either gender complaining about the other, or talking about their feelings and views about anything, I understand it... and it seems more and more as life goes on, to me, that they're really not very different. I find, again it seems to me, that the only real difference is how males and females communicate and how they actually deal with the feelings they have. And I suspect, that these differences stem greatly from how genders are portrayed both in real life by the role models we mimic growing up, and in the media.

OUCH tough thread but Ill give it a go....
Men are conditioned not to cry...where women its socially acceptable.
Women hug each other when they meet men shake hands is this not a homophobic thing or is it not socially acceptable for men to hug?? Men are conditioned to handle conflict through agression where women through emotion. Relationships/sex/values and ourselves is all based on how we were raised and personal perceptions. I dont believe there are any genetic predispositions for these. There are those who feel sex is fun and to enjoy with as many people as possible (society has labelled them sluts both male and female) and there are those who feel its special and between 2 people only.

my last reply was to Carla

Vegan - (just saw yours after I replied again)
I think you made some very valid points about how we deal with problems (talking about it vs "solving" it) And I agree that, in general, this is how things play out for most people. Now, what I wonder is this - are these differences natural, or are they differences that have developed over time in perpetuation of gender roles? (Ie. nature vs nurture)

When it comes down to your point about men meaning it when they say they don't want to talk about it, I disagree. Again, this is only from my own personal experience, which is of course tainted by my own personal lens.. but regardless, it seems to me that most of the time when a man says he doesn't want to talk about it, he's playing the same card the woman who says "nothing is wrong" is playing - he wants you to pry it out of him. This is because he has always been made to feel that it is not ok for men to talk about their feelings, despite the fact that men are just as emotional of creatures as women are.

yeah, all we can do is speak from our personal experiences. Oh, it has been my experience that i thought when the guy wanted to talk in the past and was playing the "nothing lady card" i'll call it (LOL) it was a bad, bad idea to press, to see if he really wanted to talk about it. Just my exp though. (With more than one person)

Voodoo - you make a really great point, and you have much more adequately expressed a lot of what I keep trying to say about how I view the male-female dichotomy. I truly think that as individuals we are androgynous moreso than masculine or feminine, but that most of us are trying so hard to fit our "roles" that those roles really do become who we are. I've always felt different and weird because I don't fit the stereotypically female image. I want to be proud of that fact, but at the same time it makes life hard sometimes. Because while I may be quite "masculine" or a woman, I am still straight, and still do want guys to be interested in me both sexually and romantically as well as on the friendship plane. But I find that my independent tendencies, and the fact that I talk like a guy (lol not my voice, but the things I say.. my sense of humour.. etc) is a big turn off for a lot of guys. I find that, at first, men are very intrigued by me - they're totally enamoured, but then after the novelty wears off, they become uncomfortable with the fact that the girl they are dating is just as funny or funnier than them, that she is just as open about her sexuality as him and his friends.. etc.

Yes.. it is definitely easier for a female to display "masculine" traits than it is for a man to display "feminine" traits... which is really, really unfair.. and makes us all losers in the end.
Women lose out because we're stuck trying to find a mate in a world full of ass holes.. and men lose out because they're stuck having to play the part of the insensitive prick lest he be labeled a faggot...

Why is it that it is more shameful for a man to act "feminine" than for a woman to act "masculine"? Why does our culture seem to value "masculinity" more than "femininity" when both are essential to our survival, progress, and happiness as humans?

i think were different.

voodoo summed it up well, thanks for saving me some typing, man.

i took a class on Gender Communication in college, and found it rather interesting. basically, men and women are biologically programmed to think differently, although some things are different because of upbringing. a lot of the problems with male-female relationships are because they simply don't understand enough about how the opposite sex communicates. they don't realize that we are just different animals, and we need to agree to disagree on some things.

for example, one of my co-workers and I get at each other's throats all the time because our personality types are different. we're both females. i've explained this to a male co-worker, and he's lie "don't take it so personally!". In that regard, women are more emotionally based and turn blame on ourselves, whereas men are wired to brush it off and move on. I have come to respect men as better business leaders (sometimes) because they have that ability.