Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Guys input

heart513
heart513
So today I was supposed to meet my boyfriend for dinner at 5 so I called him at 4 and asked him what was the plans. He said still getting dinner in a little while and I told him I was tired and wanted to take a nap first. Well it turns out I fell asleep and my phone didn't ring b/c of low battery and bad reception and he even came all the way over and I didn't hear the door banging over my a.c., waited at a bar nearby, and left. Finally I woke up, called, he didn't answer, listened to all his messages, heard what happened and felt TERRIBLE. I feel practicaly suicidal. Luckily he did eventually answer and heard how upset I am. Well, I don't get to see him now b/c he told me he has plans with his best friend who is usually out of town and I know this too will pass. I'm going for a run.
The thing is, we've been dating almost three months and sometimes in my journal I talk about wanting to break up with him. He is my age, 22, but I am graduated with a full time job. I like to drink and party but sometimes I feel like that is all we do, and like last night we were out until 2 and I'd rather not be out that late since I work fulltime, even though I had the day off. Also, I stayed and kept drinking, even though it is bad for my anxiety and IBS. Sometimes I think about breaking up with him but I feel like it would be hard to find someone I'm as compatible with and I do really like him, practically love. I usually discuss this with my female friends on here but tonight I've decided to open up and try to make more guy friends, in order to have another perspective
heart513
heart513
Change the title to everybodys input. I just like I said, usually don't have guys input on things, so I'd like to make some guy friends
deleted_user
deleted_user
first off stop going to bars and think of something else to do. there's more to life then drinking
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am not the best one to give advice to anyone but I figured everyone here is already screwed up so what can it hurt. You are 22 no need to settle for anyone. If you want hang out with him and keep it simple great but if you are wanting something more serious sounds like you need to move on. Think about how he will feel when he falls in love with you and you decide you want something different. Like I said I am not the best to ask for advice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
he is going to have to understand that when you are tired, you are tired. you now have resposibilities that he doesn't. you have a full time job and bills to pay so if running around and partying all the time is what he has on his mind, then i'd rethink the entire situation. there are guys in this world who don't want to party all the time (i should know, i'm one of them) and then there are guys who don't want to party at all (been there, done that too). you have to ask yourself, do you want to party all the time and wake up with a hangover and try to work all day or do you just want to save it as a way of rewarding yourself on the weekends for a job well done during the week? if you think you can handle constant partying, working with a smashing headache and a bad case of the drag-asses all day, then go party. i've done it both ways but i prefer to party as a reward for myself. working all day feeling like you've been shot-at-and-missed but shit-at-and-hit is no fun. not on any job. hopefully that helps. if not, maybe it at least put a smile on your face.

keefers
heart513
heart513
Thanks, I think you all are right and will try to do some of this. I don't drink to the point of severe hangovers, I just ought not to have more than one or two b/c of my IBS and anxiety. And he told me after I asked "I would have taken you home at 12 if you'd asked me". Anyway, I wasn't that tired today until this afternoon and my stupid phone didn't ring and that's why I missed him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
want a chicks input?
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my not so expert opinion guys that want to spend all their time and money at the bar is a bad bad thing. They are what I call the loser player. Yeah they go out every other night of the week and shake there butts on the dance floors and get trashed and make come ons to girls like me and you with the girlfriend or wife standing right next to them. I think its time to cut your loses now and find a man that will be okay with just eating orange chicken on the back porch with a glass of iced tea.
heart513
heart513
thanks lowens, the description is helpful. I'll try to get over my insecurities and set off on my own again, but it will be hard
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is hard honey. I just see you getting hurt in the long run. I dont want to see that happening. Get yourself a great guy who will hold you during thunderstorms and make you breakfast in bed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what time's dinner gonna be ready lowens? i like orange chicken and love ice tea. sweet with no lemon please.
deleted_user
deleted_user
dinner was ages ago. My kids had the rest of the left over pork bbq that didnt end up on the floor cause of my son. I had a turkey sandwhich with honey mustard.
deleted_user
deleted_user
that even sounds good right now. i gotta go eat.
BeckyK
BeckyK
I am going to tell you from personal experience, there are better men out there, if your first instinct was to break up with him, go with it! I had that same thought 3 months into my relationship with my husband and didn't listen to it. Here I am 11 years later in a bad marriage, with 2 beautiful boys contimplating divorce. All because I did not think I could do better and settled for what I thought was all I could get. I loved him at the time and just thought it would get better with time, and children and it got worse with time and children. Up to you, but I would move on and find someone that you can be completely happy with, you deserve better the this guy.
heart513
heart513
That is some powerful life experience becky. What did it feel like. My problem is my feeling that I won't find someone I feel compatible with again, it took a while just to find him, and he doesn't party overly much for someone his age, 21. My feeling about that is stronger than my feeling that I should leave. Maybe I don't listen to the right emotions
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm not an expert or anything but i know from the girl i just seperated with recently if she would of just brought up some of the problems she had with me we would still be together.And it caused a very nasty breakup.So i guess my advice is just talk about it with him. but make sure you all eat first cause talking on a full stomach is always much better!!
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