Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Ugh, you guys, I'm hurting pretty badly right now...this is going to come across like I'm a teenager, when things like this are normal, but I swear I'm 34.
I started seeing this guy back in September. He was living half of the time nearby, and half about 3 hours away where he's been renovating a house. I was really cautious at the beginning because I was really scared of getting hurt, so I tried to keep myself from falling. Of course, as always, I fell hard. It was kind of hard to get together because of conflicting schedules and this and that, but we talked all the time. Things were great through about mid-November, when I didn't hear much from him anymore. I asked if he was done, and he said no, not even close, he's been really busy and blah blah blah, but he really likes me, etc.
Well, that continued, I didn't hear much, I'd reach out and not get a response, and asked again if I should give up. No no no, we're good, he's been busy, he's sorry, all that. I'm a very insecure person and tend to assume the worst, but he'd always say he wasn't done with me.
He's down here for a couple of days. He wanted to get together Wednesday (today), which was good because I was free. It's currently about 9:30 and I haven't heard a damn thing.
I know what I have to do - give up. I'm not good at giving up. I'm very persistent, if it's something I really want, it's really hard for me to let go. And I like him SO MUCH...but I can't keep putting forth all the effort for very little return. I'm not going to just say I'm done, goodbye, I don't want to close the door completely. My plan is to try to get ahold of him tomorrow to see what the hell happened, and after that, just leave it be. If he talks to me, great, but I'm sick of being the only one trying.
This sounds so stupid. But it really is so hard for me to deal with. I'm already convinced I'll die alone and no one will ever love me again. I'm overweight and find myself incredibly unattractive. I'm an emotional eater, and with all the stress I've had for the past several months, I'm getting even bigger. Which leads to worse self image and knowing no one will look at this package and say hey, I'm going to approach her. I have no energy to exercise, I can't get myself to eat better, and the spiral continues.
I started seeing this guy back in September. He was living half of the time nearby, and half about 3 hours away where he's been renovating a house. I was really cautious at the beginning because I was really scared of getting hurt, so I tried to keep myself from falling. Of course, as always, I fell hard. It was kind of hard to get together because of conflicting schedules and this and that, but we talked all the time. Things were great through about mid-November, when I didn't hear much from him anymore. I asked if he was done, and he said no, not even close, he's been really busy and blah blah blah, but he really likes me, etc.
Well, that continued, I didn't hear much, I'd reach out and not get a response, and asked again if I should give up. No no no, we're good, he's been busy, he's sorry, all that. I'm a very insecure person and tend to assume the worst, but he'd always say he wasn't done with me.
He's down here for a couple of days. He wanted to get together Wednesday (today), which was good because I was free. It's currently about 9:30 and I haven't heard a damn thing.
I know what I have to do - give up. I'm not good at giving up. I'm very persistent, if it's something I really want, it's really hard for me to let go. And I like him SO MUCH...but I can't keep putting forth all the effort for very little return. I'm not going to just say I'm done, goodbye, I don't want to close the door completely. My plan is to try to get ahold of him tomorrow to see what the hell happened, and after that, just leave it be. If he talks to me, great, but I'm sick of being the only one trying.
This sounds so stupid. But it really is so hard for me to deal with. I'm already convinced I'll die alone and no one will ever love me again. I'm overweight and find myself incredibly unattractive. I'm an emotional eater, and with all the stress I've had for the past several months, I'm getting even bigger. Which leads to worse self image and knowing no one will look at this package and say hey, I'm going to approach her. I have no energy to exercise, I can't get myself to eat better, and the spiral continues.
And your picture of them is FULL of gaps, that you fill in with normal, and positive. You don't fill in those gaps with abnormal, or messed up, or screwey, or alcoholic.
You don't love the guy, you love a picture you have of him.
And in order to know who he is, in order to find out if you love him, you must step back, and let him come forward. He has to step forward into the light. You can't know him if you are the one stepping forward into the light all the time.
So you have to squash your insecurity down, and act as if you don't feel it, and leave him some space to come forward voluntarily, or not.
In the end you do not want to have to control all of your relationships; you want someone who will step forward voluntarily throughout your lives together. So don't dissuade anyone from doing it now by always stepping forward before they do.