I don't know you but I sure hope you hang on. Every day there is new hope possible. As long as you choose one more day at a time, there's still hope. I hope to hear you're ok.

Ok what is so bad

There is always hope, because how you feel right this second it changes in another second. So everything is in constant motion your feelings.people around you, the earth,the world as a whole.......it all changes if we want it to or not. So please always remember things or feelings will change. Hang in there.

Feeling completely oblivious to what like, "truly is supposed to be." Living day to day, only looking forward to sleep. Realizing my self worth only boils down to a regiment of the interactions in my life. Being led on to stay alive by people who only want me to be around because they're afraid of being alone. I'm sick of walking through life, day in and out merely existing. The only, "friend" i have to talk about my issues is my therapist, merely because i pay her to... I feel like the biggest waste of egg and sperm... That's just a small synopsis of what i'm going through..

I don't even know you but I think you are valuable. You are a living breathing thinking person, you are unique and you alone are you. I know this sounds super cheesy, but I really honestly feel like you need to hear it. I get what you are saying 100%. I have been in those shoes and had those thoughts, considered how much better off everyone would be without me, considered how worthless and pointless and exhausting life is, considered clocking out but knowing deep down that I would never have the nerve to do it. That's just me though.

The trick is to find something that makes you feel something. You talk about the regiment of interactions, and that tells me that you have not yet found the thing that you are passionate about. It could be anything really, but if you could find something or someone to live for, something that makes life feel like something worth doing you could have it made.

What's wrong with letting go?

Maybe there's a whole bunch of stuff you need to let go OF that's been keeping you bound to old stuff?

Maybe letting go and going with the flow is what you need.

It's new, it unknown, but could be a whole new life waiting for you.

What cracks me up about this stuff is that people talk about letting go - and if they do willingly let go they'll get better.

But when they say let go, they mean clench down tight. Suicide is a power move. It's a control move. People do it because they CANNOT let go, not because they actually are willing to let go of a single damn thing.

Dude, if you want to let go, let go. But work out what that means. Letting go means letting go of your expectations, of your rule-set about life and what you 'deserve' from it.

it means letting go of your hangups. It means letting go of your emotions and letting them go through you and out the other side. It means lying in bed doing nothing.

If you truly wish to let go, go lie in bed and do nothing, and let the feelings go through you without thought.

Get your head out of the room, leave it at the door. Thinking is a huge mistake when you are processing emotion. Like - the worst available mistake. Locking in negative explanations when you're half way through experiencing feelings. building silly walls around yourself that block the flow of the universe.

Experience. Endure. Float. Soak up reality and spit out pain. You can do all of that lying in your bed, if you TRULY have the balls to let go.

And then you can come out of this process washed clean of your negativity, and ready to make a life for yourself.