Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My boyfriend keeps giving me this ultimatum. Get help or I'm leaving. I can't decide it it's a threat or some sick and twisted way of motivating me. So I tell him to leave. Regardless of the fact that he's the best thing to ever happen to me and I'd probably give up on life all together without his support, I still feel like anyone who can threaten to leave me when I need them the most might as well just leave. Does that make me selfish? To ask him to stay and endure this battle with me though I know better than most how demanding, challenging, and merely impossible this road can be? But isn't this what he signed up for when he promised me forever and took me to that first doctor's appointment? Or am I asking way too much of any man, for he's only human. No one wants to deal with this...the ups and downs, the crying, the fits of rage, the physical harm, the emotional, physical, and mental stress. No one wants to deal with that. Not parents, not teachers, not friends, not doctor's, not significant others...shit, I don't even want to deal with it. So who am I to stop someone who has the will power, strength, dignity, future, and most importantly the RIGHT to walk away from this mess? Who am I?
You have posted a lot more than your word count would indicate. I've read thousand word posts that say far less. Many things come to mind.
Non depressed people really don't understand depression. I often say that even though my wife and I have 2 children and I was very involved in the pregnancies, there is no way I can understand pregnancy like a woman who has gone through it. Given that, please understand that your BF may be in over his head.
All of the people in our lives have limits for how much of our depression they can deal with before they over load and have to pull back. It is important for us (the depressed ones) to learn these limits and try not to push them too much. Better to have a good friend who can be there for 75% of our needs than nobody.
Depression is serious, as you know there are some pretty nasty things we deal with. If we want to have a better life we HAVE to be proactive about things. That means that we need to learn if medication is necessary for us to recover. We need to start therapy to learn about our depression and ways to manage it. We need to accept that we can't fix it all by ourselves and that it will take professional help.
From what you have written, it sounds like your BF is close to maxing out on his ability to help you. That does not make him a bad person, and it does not mean he will bail on you. But please listen to what he is saying between the words. He still loves you, but he is not able to do it for you.
You must get help.
This is true for ALL of us. All of us need professional help at some point. To get us going.
Gentle hugs, and again welcome to the group.