if you figure that out let me know k?

Big Spongey Hugs :)

some people are naive about depression. you may have to adjust your friendship. He may never 'get it'.

Words just can't explain it.
Wish I could be more help. I'm in the same boat. People always tell me I need to smile more.

I just feel like everything is my fault.

it's not your fault friend19. please don't feel like that. some people will never understand until they experience it for themselves.

me too! I used to get blamed for a lot of stuff when I was growing up.

Feeling like it's 'all your fault' is one of the most insidious symptoms of this disorder IMO. You feel you should be able to be happy, you feel you should be able to 'just pull yourself out of it.' But the sad truth is, that until the chemicals are properly balanced it is simply *not* in your control.

How to explain it to him or anyone else? I honestly don't know. It's sort of like not only do you see the glass half empty when they see it half full, you have to pull yourself up by your fingernails to see it at all.

I think you could tell him that when you isolate it is like having a phobia of people. You just can't be around them when you get in that place. Then tell him that if you were afraid of heights would he ask you why you can't go bungee jumping? Is there something he doesn't 'do'? Question why not and then tell him the principle isn't so far removed for when you need to be that way.

you can't explain to a person who has never been depressed what it feels like.. once asked a friend of mine if he had ever been depressed.. he said no and didn't even bother to inquire what the illness meant.!!

if i could i would stay in my house and never go out. may not be healthy but its the truth... i stay inside as much as possible. i used to be such the outgoing person... now i just want to be a hermit.. somewhere safe ........ hugs to you ....

You said he is a new friend, it sounds like its going to be a difficult relationship already. Maybe u should see if its worth it. You deal with so much you don't need another person trying to tell u to be happy. Ask "don't u think if I could I would?" Noone gets it until they've been there. I've been selected telling my close friends b/c I know a few won't get it or believe it (I hide It well) Its not worth the aggravation!

I do hope your friendship is based on a lot more than his viewpoint about this isolation and idea about just being happy. You could probably make the friendship work if iit goes way beyond just those observations of his. But do not allow him to throw the guilt about this on you. I do not know h ow you explain to others. There are a lot of people who are depressed, and many people have to adjust theri viewpoint--some more easily than others.

Well-meaning friends can make us worse with their comments like "be happy" etc. Your choice to stay friends with him but please do not expect him to "get it."