I know what you mean. How do you escape the despair? What do you do when the sadness never ends? I wish I knew. I call it falling down the rabbit hole. Like with Alice, you feel the world is no longer a reality.
I wish I could tell you how to come back to reality. I can only tell you I share the feeling of despair at this time, as I am falling down the rabbit hole myself.

Any chance you'd go back inpatient if that will help?
I know you've had an awful time of things, keep reaching out...people, including me, do care.
I dearly wish I could offer you something besides cliche's but you don't need them..
Of course I'll be praying for you and all of us who are in that pit now...
(((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))))

I am sorry you feel so bad. I sincerely hope you can get the help you need. I know it is scary. Hugs.

I'm so sorry. I know how you're feeling. I feel like I'm there myself, and it does feel lonely...every time. The only thing I can say is that you're not alone. I hope you are feeling better very soon.

You worded this so eloquently--It helped me in trying to express how I am feeling to some extent. Feeling those familiar feelings are like walking up a staircase to a room that you once lived in. I am feeling like, as a result of my recent decent into a state of fragility that a major life change is in store. However, hopefully not and end to my life.
You came out of this state before and you will again.
Where there are stairs up to that place there are also stairs down.
Feel free to pm me.
With Love to You.

How are you doing today??

Hope the darkness has lifted even a little bit by now!!!!

(((gentle hugs)))

I know exactly how you feel and you made it thru before, you will make it thru now. Hugs

I appreciate all the responses; really I do...knowing that there are others (although I wish there were not) with similar struggles can reel me back in - restraining me from oblivion...
I am so fatigued of fighting so hard just to keep the last bit of sanity I have left..

Hang in there friend as many of us know how you feel. Hugs.

Nobody wants to be in this state but as you can see, there's a LOT of us that are.

I hope knowing you're not the only one will help you claw your way back out....

((((gentle hugs)))))

My prayers are with you my friend. I have chronic pain issues and believe me, I am getting close to my breaking point.

No sense is me going to the hospital here in town...they doctors are worthless.

Best advice that I can offer is trying replacing negative thoughts with good positive thought....just be doing that.....you will hopefully broaden your horizons and find you self day dreaming......and think what good things will come.