Lots of the medications make hard to even reach a climax even if you did have the drive. I don't know if they make anything for women but you can still show interest even if you don't have a drive..........? Don't really have any answers besides this. What put you in the mood before meds gave you no drive? I would try those :-)........

YAY!!!!! Glad you brought this up! i'm right here w/you! We seem to have "awesome" husbands...but yet, as you, I feel I am not meeting "my quota!"

Honestly, the LAST thing on my mind right now is...SEX :(

When I ask my Dr. she says..."Please underst. that is part of your Depression and your meds..." really!? I could of figured that one out!

Wish I had an answer...just know you are NOT alone...

I too am glad you brought this up!!! This is a HUGE issue for me as well. No I have no sex drive at all and my husband and I are never intimate with each other. Yes I think it's from the meds although it could be somewhat from the depression as well. I would suggest talking it over with your doctor. And tell your husband you still love him very much and maybe try to find other ways to be close.

Just to let you know viagra and cialis dont always work...

Part of it is age, too -- and length of time being married. ;)

You probably haven't gone through menopause yet, but you may be going through peri-menopause. I'm 55 and post-menopausal, which can be a big sex drive killer. Plus I've been married for 29 years. Those two things alone are enough to explain a lack of interest in sex.

Add to that anti-depressants and an anti-estrogen cancer drug, and not only am I not interested at all, but it's downright painful -- in fact, it's pretty much impossible right now. :( From what I understand, there's nothing that can remedy my situation ... so I don't know what I'm going to do. My poor husband. :(

Men love oral sex. learn to accomodate them that way if it hurts to have intercourse. Also you can do the "rub" and "tug" for them. Use oils, smooth silky gloves. What helps me is knowing how extremely important this is for them. Us different altogether. But they feel loved if we physically desire them. Plus they have all that testosterone! So make it happen it really only takes a few minutes (no pun intended) it's true! Morning, middle of night surprise, afternoon delight, etc etc.
I also think someday in the not to distant future, I may not want any at all ever and perhaps he won't be "up" for it! LOL So I better take any opportunity that I can now. So often I start and really am not interested at all, but the action creates interest and it can be very rewarding.
I've been away from him for a few weeks so I am all primed for a reunion! Tee hee

Im 46, had a hysterectomy 7 years ago, but still have my ovaries. My husband has diabetes, which makes it difficult to, as he has to take a pill first...little hard to be spontaneous! Hard2please-you are exactly right-sometimes they dont work! I know my husband would never cheat on me, he wasnt raised that way..thank GOD! Just between us all, I have dreams about it, just dont want it after I wake up..am I crazy or what???!!

P.S. We had our 21st anniversary on Friday...:)

Congratulations on your 21st Anniv.!!!!

I can relate SOOO much, I am 45, and have also had a Hysterectomy...however I had a "full" one...I wear an estrogen patch...but my sex drive went down hill after hyster. - to top it off, I am also Diabetic! Oh joy!

So, as Paulene mentioned...thank-God for oral sex! Sorry for the TMI...but I try to keep him happy that way...and I "really" try to force myself to get in the mood, and as mentioned, then things get better...

This is my second marriage, and I truly think the reason we have SUCH a great marriage, is because we truly know the meaning of "Intimacy"...however I would still like to feel that "I want to rip your clothes off" feeling! :( And no, you are not crazy about dreaming about it...I'm worse...I am SO attracted to my husband...that I look at him and "really" want him...however my mind and body don't seem to be in sink (sp)? - Now, that sounds crazy! lol...

My desire for IT has declined a lot but there is still a glimmer. Lol. I kinda force myself sometimes because I know that once we get started, I can get into it. It just takes effort. For me its not just depression, I have physical pain and fatigue issues too. It can be quite an effort to do it. But I still enjoy the closeness.

Medication can kill it. One of the drawbacks that I hated when I was on Meds because that part of my life I still enjoyed despite the depression but Meds interfered with sensations and lack of feeling Desire. And I Couldn't climax for the life of me.
I talked with my doc about it and he said most of the antidepressants have that effect but can be short term. I tried different ones and they all did that.
The fact that it bothers you shows you care and you want to have the desire, And you aren't a horrible person. Not your fault. Stupid Meds and depression.
I don't know if there is anything you can take to counteract the side effects of the medications.
But I have been looking at taking L'arginine.
My husband takes it and it seems to have helped with his performance. Women can take it too. It can help with libido, desire, climax intensity. L-arginine is a natural amino acid. Available in capsule form and online.

Thanks for starting this discussion. For me, it was a hysterectomy (which was totally unwarranted) that DESTROYED my sex drive and response as well as spiraled me into a SUICIDAL DEPRESSION. Before that, people commented on how I was always happy and smiling. I became a totally different person. HRT has been a godsend for the depression (and other symptoms of estrogen deficiency) but it hasn't restored my sex life.

I realized the horror of my altered state when just a few months post-op, a hot looking guy did NOTHING for me (nor did steamy sex scenes in movies and books). That was a very sad day!