Hang on, Casey. You are at the doorway to relief. Don't cave in now. There is no reason to assume your meeting will be 'brutal' in any way. Psych needs some info in order to arrange the best treatment for you .. it is as simple as that.

One thing that people here have done is to write stuff down. If they get tongue tied they just hand the notes to the doctor and let them read them. Then the doctor will engage you in a conversation to help her/him fill in the missing pieces.

I had one doctor who talked to me for about 10 minutes and then gave me a free sample of meds and a prescription for more. I shredded the prescription and flushed the meds. I don't need a doctor who pushes meds on me after a short and shallow conversation.

Guess I'm trying to say is that you might not get a prescription for meds right away. I'm not trying to talk you out of them, far from it, but a healthy dose of cynic can help the doctor to REALLY walk you through the pros and cons of meds.

If meds are the right path for you then you have gone into it with your eyes wide open!

Gentle hugs, and good luck Monday night!!!

the anxioty leading up to it is much much much worse than the actual appointment... the appointments usually go ok and if you need to take a break in the middle of it, they're usually pretty understanding about that

hang in there, it'll be ok... monday night it'll be done, and you wont have to worry about it anymore

(thats how i think about terrible things i have to do... it helps, sometimes)

Thanks everyone. I'm sure it will be okay, but i'm so nervous.

Pepperman, I was on antidepressants before and it made me feel better, but i put a lot of weight and i stopped taking them against my GP's and therapists advise. i managed without meds for almost a year now, but now my moods have gotten worse, and I really need them to bring me back to daily functioning level (at least get out of bed). I have a therapist, and now she has a condition that until i see a psychiatrist and get on meds she wont see me, since I've only gotten worse. But thanks for the advise.

find a new therapist. anyone that puts a condition on treating you does not have your best interest in mind.

as for the pdoc, great advise has been given. its been a while since I first went. the first one I went to saw me for 15 minutes and gave me meds even after going over my history. I went manic and didn't sleep for two whole days, he cut the meds in half, I went looking for a new pdoc. Found a wonderful lady that made the first appointment an hour. Diagnosed me with bipolar after hearing my history, especially my reactions to meds with my mood. gave me proper meds that don't conflict with my pcos meds and is always a phone call away.

keep in mind that the first person you meet might not be the right person for you. you are the one seeking help so that is a step in the right direction.

By reading your post, you are already having a defeatist attitude.Whatever you tell your new doctor is strictly confidential and it's the one person that will keep all of your secrets, all of your worries, etc.. But make sure that you are honest so you can be sure to be a good match for each other. I am surprised that you have a Psychiatrist that actually talks to you. Here in California, there are counselors and Therapists to talk to, and Psychiatrists to hand out medication. I guess every where is different. If you are uncomfortable with sharing at the beginning, take your time. What you share at the beginning will make a big difference in what kind of treatment you will receive. Let us know how your appointment goes, okay> Hugs GB

Grammybear: Yes, my first appt with my psychiatrist is scheduled for one hour. She is from the same country as i am from, so hopefully can understand my background better. i am from CA too, (san fransisco), but it was difficult to find one in my insrurance and who was taking new patients.

angeleyes: My therapist(marriage counsellor) wants me to see the pdoc, cos on my last session i said i have suicidal thoughts and she asked me more questions on how i planned to end my life, and i said i have thought about many ways. she thinks i could harm myself. So i guess it's a legal thing for her to have me see a pdoc before she has anymore sessions with me.