I have been struggling with depression and feelings of not wanting to be here anymore. I know that isn't an option as I am the mother of two boys and was the sole income for the last 10 years almost (my husband is starting a job on the 12th of August). Well, I am already struggling to only find out my nieces and nephew's step father is spreading lies about my family that includes his brother in law and mother in law. He is saying this stuff to people who don't know us. We are a good family. I love my mother in law and I know, she does love me. We get along well for the most of the time. I try hard to be kind to others and help others when I can. I am not trying to make myself look good. I know I have my faults- we all do but I do my best to be kind and make others feel good about themselves. I know what it is like to hate yourself and I don't want that for anyone else. 

Well, He is going around telling people that I am this crazy mental bitch, my mother in law hates me, my husband is mentality abuse and spends all my money and waste tons of money, my youngest is a spoil brat and my oldest is dumb. All behind our back. I see the way he treats his wife and her children, I see the way he spends her money. I really think he is painting us bad to make himself feel like he is superiour that us and to distract from the fact he is all the things he is saying we are. I don't know why he is doing this. I hate to think I am going to thier picnics and his friends are looking at us like these really bad people. I really love my sister in law and my niece and nephew. It hurts me to think that my sister in law may think these things about me too. I don't know where they got this idea. My brother in law like to be disrespectful to me and get up in my face ( meaning getting in my personal space) I normally laugh it off. Maybe, He got upset and decided to not like me anymore because I started sticking up for my husband when he says lies in front of me or when he said really messed up things to my niece and her friend that are 13 years old ( he was calling them cum dumpsters and gutter sluts etc.) I found that to be very wrong and I couldn't just sit there so I said something. I didn't yell- I just said that he shouldn't talk to them that way and I will not sit here listening to him talk to that way. His wife was just allowing it and I couldn't. I know how those kinda words can cut a girl inside, even if someone is joking around. Words like those to little girls are not a joke and it isn't fun. I don't want to sound like I am talking shit on him but I am so sick over this and done. On top of everything- he told his kids that I am immature and can't support my family without living with my mother in law. This coming from a man that hasn't held a job in the last 11 years- that lives off his wife, that before his wife- he was bouncing from job to job-living in his grandmothers basement. I may live with my mother in law but that is by choice- I enjoy her company and I pay the utilities and part of our mortgage. I do the best I can. I'm so hurt that someone I looked up too ( my sister in law) could be okay with this man that treats her and her kids so poorly, is  okay with putting down her family. I tried so hard to be a good person and love everyone and spread joy. I am still only human with emotions- it is never enough. I don't know what to do- I don't want to give up my relationship with my sister in law and her kids but I don't want to look into the face of someone that must hate me so much to speak so poorly about me to strangers that don't even know me.