Why are you disgusted with yourself? You have a job that you don't like - that's not your fault. You needed money and as a responsible person you took a job available to you. You know what you have to do to change it - find a different job. We all know that is hard, but if you just start taking one step at a time, I know that you will find a different job until you find one that works best for you. It will take time, so just be patient with yourself - don't be so hard on yourself. Besides, you can't change what crappy people do at work, and there will always be crappy people at every work. I'm sorry I can't change that. I wish I could change that in my own job.

Since you are unhappy at this job, start looking for another one. It may take time, but be patient and the right one will come along. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the support. I am looking for a new job.

Hi Lily,
Unfortunately being overwhelmed and irritated are also symptoms of depression. While you may have reasons for feeling that way at work, the intensity of those feelings are escalated when you are depressed. As one counselor told me, I can't help change how you feel but I can help you think differently and that will change your feelings. In the mean time, try to start considering that your feelings aren't always an accurate guide. Feelings can be very fickle.
Try to think hopeful thoughts. Thoughts like "this job serves a purpose." "This job is a stepping stone to another job.""If I put in the effort of finding a better job, I will find a better job." "I can be content in these circumstances." Good luck on your job search! Find a good perspective-your cup is half full!! God bless!