Oh my goodness!! I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. Pain and emptiness has been a reoccurring theme for my entire life. The feelings of despair come and go. Sometimes the feeling are light and other times they are strong and heavy. I have thoughts that I want my life to be over consistently. I have gotten to the point that I realize those moments are part of my "normal". When I get to those points of pain, I have learned that the pain is not a reflection of where I am but it is associated with where I was. Subconsciously, I am looking for some comfort but it is obvious that the comfort that I am looking for will not be provided by someone else. No one holds the key to my happiness. I am sure the same is true for you. I had to literally put everything and everyone behind me. Remember, if something produces pain in your life, it is not practical for you and you don't need it. Continue to hang in there. It will take some time but readjust your mindset to do things that make you happy or brings some sense of joy (no matter how small) and then grow from that. Take baby steps. It is not selfish to do things for yourself. If you don't, no one else will.

Remember, you are not alone. You are not the only one who suffers from those feelings. They may continue for the rest of your life but we have the ability to minimize and control them so that they don't control us.

Be well my friend!!

Oh girl, I have had the same feelings for so much of my life. I tried very hard to change that and i work on it all the time. So many poor choices out of insecurity I've made. But I will not give up with this life because there is time to fix things and I am no kid. So please do not give up and I am here for you.

Don't give up! Though you are suffering now, it won't always be like this. Depression is like walking through a thick, dark, mucky swamp. It's difficult to walk through, but if you keep slogging along, eventually your feet hit solid ground and you climb out into the open meadow. Even though it seems like people don't care sometimes, they really do. How about trying expressing your caring for someone else in some small way, like make a cute card and send it to your niece, or make some cookies and bring them to an older relative or neighbor? If you like animals, stop by an animal shelter and ask if you can spend some time with a dog or cat. They don't need to know you aren't adopting, and the animal will enjoy some company.

Thank you for your replies. That helps me to keep going. I'll do the best I can although right now that isn't too great. hope you are having a nice weekend. Wendy

Hello, Thanks for reaching out today. I’m hearing you say that you feel bad lately, lonely and you are suicidal. Thanks for your bravery for seeking help. It’s understandable that you are feeling afraid and you don’t deserve to feel this way. When we sometimes feel alone and unhappy for a while we begin to feel we are running out of time because happiness should have happened for us. I know you are not alone. I also know that your life is worth the fight. I’m wondering what support looks like for you?. Such as, friends and family, etc. we all need someone we can talk to about how we feel. I appreciate how you seeked help and handled this situation today. It seems in the past you may have seeked out ways to help you with being lonely and to help with your happiness. I appreciate these efforts. I admire your strength and I believe in you. I’m wondering what you have tried in the past to help you find happiness and to conquer the fear?. Please know there is always time for happiness and it’s never too late. I see how amazing you are inside and outside with your strength, efforts and determination. I truly know your life is worth the fight and you have much worth. I suggest this resource for your suicidal feelings the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It’s a 247 hotline and it’s confidential. Best wishes!