Perhaps your husband feels he lost his wife when she had the baby...? Tell him how you feel...something like: 'I love her to bits, I know you do too, but I can't help feel I've lost you. What is going on?'

A direct approach ... as robotnik suggested may be the most effective. I have heard parents describe much the same thing after the first baby arrives. Might want to mention the problem to your doctor. I am sure the Internet has tons and tons of advice for new parents. I hope you get to the bottom of this ... the answers should not be too far out of reach.

I felt like that after I had my son too. With a new baby, and getting up in the middle of the night, and the [good] stress of a new born, its really hard to have that alone time you two had before. Give it a little time to adjust to the baby - when it becomes the new norm then you have more of an idea how to spend your day thus creating some QT in your schedule. Hope things get better! *Hugs*

ps: post partum depression is very common, I experienced it. Don't hesitate to reach out for help.

Your lives changed with arrival of the stork. Congratulations. Now it's time for you and your husband to change. I suspect effort on both parties will remedy your feelings plus adjusting to a daily routine with your baby will smooth things out to some degree. Also with no offense keep your relationship spicy. Good luck

@WanderingVet *tips hat* ; )

Hi AM19. I'm sorry about your situation, but I have to disagree with you on your point concerning your priorities. I think most parents fall into this trap of putting their children first (we did), but at the cost of the marital relationship.

The single best thing you can do for your child is to put your marital relationship first!!! Only in doing this will you create the environment your child needs to grow up in a balanced environment. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but the only way you can have your child as the number 1 priority is to put your marriage as the number 1 priority. TR

i agree kids are important but sometimes it is best to find a sitter to leave your kid with for a few hours and hash things out with your husband and find your intimate groove again other wise it is unhealthy for everyone.

Thank you everyone for your thought out advice. I hope you know I take it all to heart . Hugs to all

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone right now. Marriages definitely change once baby is born. They go through an adjustment period. Both spouses getting use to the new addition to the family. I know that it happened with my husband and I each time we brought a new little one home. I think the most important thing is to just keep the lines of communication open. Allow each other to tell how they are feeling or not feeling, what their expectations are etc. If you can keep the communication open, things will get better. Even when we were feeling distant from each other due to the responsibilities of life, baby etc, talking always allowed us to reconnect to each other even if it was for a brief period. At some point though, when you are both ready, it is important to make time for your marriage/relationship. Things do get better. I promise!

Perhaps, once or twice a week, leave him alone with the baby for a bit and have some time just to yourself....and not just to go grocery shopping without the kid, but to get out, walk around, try to meet some new people...make some new friends of your own in the new town? Maybe take a class?

Firstly, I am so sorry your feeling like this. You feel alone, but you arnt. How we look at things and feel isn’t necessarily reality. You have just had a baby, that’s massively overwhelming, we loose our independence, our spontaneity and ourselves. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself. Reaching out is a massive step, now you need to talk to your mum, husband, best friend someone that is not a keyboard, someone you trust, and don’t hold it in. If you don’t want to do face to face, write a letter. The person you tell will be mortified that your feeling like this, that they missed it, because they love you. I know it’s scary, and really hard, you feel like a failure because ‘everyone else has a baby and is fine’ but it’s not that way, every mother struggles, your just hitting it a bit harder. But it is going to be ok. Just take the next step now. Think how you would advise someone in your position. That’s how your person you tell will feel. Much love and I really hope you get to a happy stage and enjoy your family xxx