My abusive, manipulative, insane mother believes that she is a psychic medium and empath, and she tries to use these so-called gifts against me. She claims that she can speak with the dead, is a reiki healer, and also became an ordained minister. She magically discovered these gifts of hers sometime in our six years of estrangement. She's always been into spirituality, which is ironic considering the way she treats people goes against pretty much every major religion. I will admit that she can be very intuitive sometimes, but I think lots of manipulative people are. How else would they know which buttons to push if they weren't able to read people well?

Anyway, ever since I moved back in with her she's made tons of little comments about her abilities and what the "spirits" have told her about me, and of course it's all negative. First the spirits told her I would get a master's degree in counseling, but never do anything with it, and never truly amount to anything. Then she tells me I'm asexual because I've never had a girlfriend. What's scary about that is it's true I've never dated or had a girlfriend, but I've never told her that and I never would. I'm certainly not asexual though; I'm tormented every day by how easily dating seems to come to other people. Then, just a couple of days ago I had a counseling appointment, and the "spirits" had something to say about that too. 

I really didn't want to let on that I was going to therapy, but she and I are both home all day and she's constantly in my business, so there's no way I could have hidden it without her accusing me of being up to something. So against my better judgment I tell her I'm going to therapy, and when I come back from my appointment she randomly says as we're making dinner "boy, my ears were burning today!" Meaning, of course, that she believes I spent my session talking about her. This is not untrue considering she's a huge stressor in my life, and I definitely needed to talk it out with someone. But in her mind, I'm ungrateful and overly sensitive and dramatic, so I go to therapy and tell made up stories about what an evil villan my mother is. And she says this bullshit right in the middle of what was actually a semi-pleasant conversation, at least for us. It's like she has this need to create conflict and make me feel uneasy, and she does it so well. 

The more of these "intuitive" comments she makes, the more out of control I feel. Regardless of whatever it is that's allowing her to tap into certain things, I no longer feel safe in my own mind. I mean, how intrusive can one person be? She's so dead set on consuming and possessing those around her that she's convinced herself she has some God-give gift! There is nothing godly or good about what she's doing, and I know her goal is to break me. A true empath or medium or whatever would never use their abilities to belittle or control someone else, but that's exactly what she wants to do. Nothing would make her happier than to see me lose my mind completely, or even end my life. The attention and justification something like that would give her...I imagine it'd be similar to the feeling addicts have when they get high. I just don't know what to do. I have to stay here, I don't have any place else to go. But how am I supposed to deal with this? It isn't enough for her to validate every terrible feeling I have about myself, now she's brought God into it too.