I'm not feeling so good today mentally or physically.  I know I post here a lot but this is a very ongoing thing for me.  I don't really see the point of my life.  I'm not enjoying it, I don't seem to have much control over it and it doesn't make sense to me and it seems to get progessively harder. The state of things in the world isn't helping.  I feel so much unease and anxiety.  I feel like everything is falling apart and I can't do anything about it.  So many nightmares at night.  Constant unease and unhappiness.  There's really nothing anyone can do for me.  I don't have enough support.  I'm so alone and scared all the time.  I can't trust people.  Everyone I have trusted has let me down. 

I have this ongoing sense of dread and hopelessness and sadness.  I keep plodding along each day but none of this makes sense to me and if there is no joy or feeling of purpose or safety, what is the point.  I'm almost 56 years old.  I can't handle this anymore.  It's just getting too hard for me.  I dread going to work tomorrow.  They are so incredibly mean.  I try to keep to myself but that doesn't work.  I'm sorry to post so much.  Things don't feel right, you know?  Everything feels off and scary and odd in my life.  Thank you for listening.