Hello psyk, it does make sense (to me) that you feel because you are depressed. My question is, how was it different from the last time you had depression? My depression tends to go in waves, I always describe my moods as being on a rollercoaster, because that's how it is. One day I can be sunk down deep into it and the next day I can be "ok", or visa versa. In the sense that it's all in your head, it's a mental illness, but it's how you feel, it's your emotions. You're not crazy, if that's what you're asking, it's the illness. I hope this helps. {Hugs}

Hi psyk,

I go thru the same thing. My depression this time is not lifting, so I am, indeed, depressed about being depressed. The truly haunting thing about this dis-ease is that, unfortunately, it has us, we don't have it. By that I mean, it sort of controls us because it's so insidious and powerful. For me, everything is an effort and sometimes I just can't make the effort unless it's something I ABSOLUTELY have to do. Sometimes I can pull it off and sometimes it's a struggle. I've just begun to reach out - to ministers and trying to find a place to volunteer where it won't be stressful or demanding and where I'll feel safe. That way, I'll have some place to go on occasion and some sort of commitment making me feel like a productive member of society. Of course, living 24/7 with the depression hanging there is a HUGE challenge. Be gentle with yourself; do something nice for yourself; remind yourself that you are really a wonderful person and that the depression is just a symptom. Not easy, but it beats the hell out of the alternative, which is to beat up on ourselves.