Ground your emotions is my thought. Anxiety, depression and fear love to think they are the emotions in charge. You have more strength than you realize. You list things you want and now you need to empower yourself in achieving these goals or get used to being a passenger and not driving your own train.

Hello,
In my family, as I look back now, my mom, aunt, cousin, sister, myself, even grandmothers all devoted their lives to caring for spouses and children. They lost all sense of themselves.
Unfortunately, I was never to be blessed with a child either. I still struggle as I think God did not think enough of me to allow me to feel life growing inside me or the excitement of sharing that with my husband....But I have come to realize everything happens for a reason.....

In your case "probably never" doesn't always translate to never ever. So many times when a woman gets so invested in needing a child it makes things that much more difficult to conceive .If you take a breath and try to relax things may surprise you. Also,there are children out there just aching for someone to love and care about them. Maybe adoption could be an option.

You are so young and (while it may not feel like it right now) you have so much to look forward to. Life is full of ups and downs (like you I would prefer only ups.....but then we couldn't fully appreciate them if we had nothing to measure them against.)

And please know you ARE NOT a failure. It is just not the right time (also, if hubby in any way makes you feel like that, perhaps he has the problem) Don't focus on the negative.....instead try to find a positive.

Ghostdancer is right ...empower yourself to achieve your goals . Do not be like me.....I have wasted years being a passenger and I wound up way off course from most of mine.

I do wish you the very best.

Veggiequeen...

I'm sorry. I do understand as when I was 24 I was diagnosed with ovarian failure and basically the only way I would ever have children was via IVF. Now at 47, that never happened because I had a lot of difficult relationships. Sadly, I became a Mother via tragedy when my sister passed away 9 years ago. I love these four kids. It's not the same and I still wish I could have birthed a child. The kids I raised, it's been such a struggle because of the trauma of the loss and many challenges. I am separated from my husband because the kids and him did not get along. We were together 7 years and my heart breaks without him. You are not a failure, life isn't always fair and it's definitely so hard to stay positive when things are so hard. Two of the kids are depressed, one suicidal at times and I gave them all the love I had. I have forged on and tried to take joy in the smallest accomplishments. You are not a failure. You are blessed and one day it will make sense. My path was to raise my sister's kids as my own. There are wonderful days and there are bad days. We do not have all the answers. Focusing on positive is the best way, but I know it's hard. If you can count one blessing a day, that helps. It's how I cope. Wishing you peace.

You are not a failure in any way. Allow yourself time to adjust and since the doctor said you may not be able to have a child. Don't give up. Think positive and you never know what could happen. Do you see a doctor and or a therapist for your depression? Are you taking any medication? If you are not seeing a therapist, I would recommend that you talk with one. Since you mention suicide I think it would be good for you to talk with a doctor. Stay strong and positive.

Thank you all for the positive comments. They have helped so much. Sharaninmd I don't see any one but I am on medications. I have considered seeing a therapist but we are in such a rural area we don't have anyone around here. I have thought about suicide since I was 16. Thank you for the advice. It has given me a lot to think about.

I am sorry to hear about the news you received. I have children, but when I wanted to have another child 18 years ago, I couldn't because of a serious illness I have. I adopted my daughter 17 years ago and I can tell you that the love I feel for her and for my biological sons is EXACTLY the same. Do it!

Since you are unable to see a therapist, check with the Department of Social Services in your area to see if they offer any kind of counseling. If they do, there may be a small fee or it may be free. If you go to church, you might find that they have a support group that you could join, Continue to talk to us on this site and we will gixe you the support you need. Feel free to message me.

Pamper yourself and don't put any blame on you. You are an important person and need to find that peace again. I'm not sure if you are in any medications for depression and I didn't realize what was happening to me either and tried every healthy thing to get better. I had to take medications to stop the cycle of guilt, anxiety and depression. Message me if you would like to talk more. I have known many people that did get pregnant after they stopped trying. One couple even adopted a child and she became pregnant. One friend quit work because it was so stressful and now she has 2 children. You may be surprised someday.

Hi It's really hard not being able to have something that you assumed that you'd be would come easily. I had an ectopic pregnancy and then the other tube became blocked and I was told that there was less than a 1 % chance of conceiving.
It was a horrible lonely time for my husband and I. I have three sisters and all three of them were pregnant at the same time. I felt selfish for feeling envious and cheated. We decided to adopt and were starting to make some steps toward this. We had failed invitro fertilization and I tried one more time just because my husband wanted me to. Bingo, I got pregnant and had a difficult pregnancy with a preterm baby. So don't give up. There are so many children who are looking for parents. It may seem hard to believe, but somehow you will have a "motherly" experience some time.