I can’t say I understand completely because I don’t, we’re different people who lead different lives. However, I feel I can really connect with you on the feelings of self hatred and some of the other things you expressed (when my depression is flaring up, I sometimes feel like I don’t want to sleep but I don’t want to be awake either, which is different but sort of similar in a way to what you’re describing). I don’t feel super strongly in those ways right in this moment but I definitely have felt really angry at myself. I’m sorry you’re going through so much right now. Thanks for pushing onwards anyway. Prayers! If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to send me a PM.

Ugh I’m not in the same situation but I do know that feeling and I’m so sorry you’re going through it because people just don’t understand how debilitating it can be. I feel like self hatred is a big part of depression and it’s a vicious cycle where ur depressed self just makes u hate urself even more. Obviously not an easy fix but i made a list of Things to do in my planner when I’m feeling sad. Doesn’t always help but makes me feel like I’m trying. So thankful that you shared a vulnerable part of yourself and I’m her if u need anything!

It's no wonder you feel that way - picked on at work, broke up with partner - it's normal to feel unhappy and depressed in that situation. It doesn't mean you suffer from major depression though. Being picked on at work is bad news. Do your best to fix this problem. Talk to someone in authority. Don't retaliate or you'll be seen as the bad guy. Find another job if it goes on too long and there's no remedy.

I too have had to walk through 'the valley of the shadow of grief', so I know there is no real cure; however with the passage of a lot of time and the changing of who you are, it is survivable. In many ways it's one way that you're going to become an even more awesome person than you are now.

I hate myself too sometimes. But I'm here to tell you that I believe in you and I hear your pain. You are completely valid to feel this way. May you feel love from God and others. I am in pain too. I hope that reminder gives you comfort. God bless you dear one.