Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm new here and I don't really know what i am doing...
Just feeling really tired of seeing everybody else connect, talk while i just look. It happens everywhere...at home, at work...
I know i have trust issues. Was in an abusive relationship for almost one year before i got out if it and even then it took me a long time to start opening up to people.
I started harming myself. Not cutting cause it is hard to hide in a warm city like mine, but small things that are easier to hide. Talked to some people about it...they just reminded me how bad i am and fought with me. Nobody tried to understand or to help.
I don't know if there is something wrong with me or if I am just a horrible person, but people just seem to use me to get what they want and then forget me.
My ex boyfriend made me believe that i was worthless and a bad person (his actual words were a demon that should go back to hell). I know i shouldn't believe him but it is kind of hard not to when I see that no one really cares...
But i dont wanna be alone. Is it too much to ask?
I am glad your ex-boyfriend is an "ex" since he doesn't sound much of a friend for saying such a horrible thing to you.
I am sorry that you a feeling so depressed. It's ok to feel sad. Don't beat yourself up for feel sad. It's an emotion.
By coming on DS and reaching out is a healthy choice. Give yourself credit for being resourceful.
It is good to know there are people who i can talk to.
During the day it is a little better cause i get distracted by work, but at night i feel really bad and have nobody to talk to
And a lot of times we often pre-judge new people for the same things we wish not to be judged by. And so forming new friendships seem almost impossible. It's like a vicious cycle that needs to be broken but who's gonna break it? Funny thing about me, I used to hate the fact that I would always be the first one to initiate a date for my friends and I to hang out.
It felt so disingenuous; the friendships. I made a vow to myself last year and a half that I wouldn't reach out to anybody first anymore; rightfully so. And I did just that. I didn't receive any texts or calls like I imagined. So a few months ago I changed my number. I pretty much isolated myself to the extreme and lost all my contacts. Deleted all my social media accounts because I felt like i was reliant on it and I needed a break from it.
And now, here I am. On dailystrength.com trying to fully overcome my depression, anxiety and panic disorder. I feel so close to the finish line of overcoming this though, as I learn more about myself, I must say. But I've realized it's the doing that's most important. The taking action. That's something I'm challenging myself to do now. The actual action of living and taking risks, meeting new people and/or rekindling friendships with old friends. Even now as I'm writing this, I picture me meeting new people and I feel anxious. I look at my old life and old friendships and how it was a bit toxic and then I look at my future and subconsciously wonder if I'll ever truly be happy.
It's not the same for all of us. We all deal with the same feelings in different scenarios. But successful possibilities that we may encounter are very similar.
I was recently reading an article about how to revive my creativity. After all this severe depression, I felt so hopeless to be creative in my field again. Being creative is what keeps me going. Anywho, they mentioned something intriguing that captivated my mind.
They mentioned how as adults we tend to be more strict with ourselves. The older we get, the more conscious, cautious and careful we are in our paths. We don't get excited about things as we used to be when we were kids. I mean can anyone blame us? We always blame ourselves for everything and it causes us to be caved in and scared to try again.
So that stood on my mind. How can I reignite the kid in me again? After all, when I feel free as a kid, I am most happy. I'm more optimistic and risky. I don't care for what others are thinking though they're probably laughing. Like kids. Kids make mistakes everyday and they get back up learn from it and move on. They sometimes even forget they've made the mistake because they're too busy living and succeeding.
Which is important for us human beings to understand. We take things too seriously. We think it's actually deeper than what it is. And it isn't. I'm still figuring out how to fully reignite the kid in me. But I imagine myself reaching out to old friends and telling them how I feel about everything. Or meeting new people and trusting them. It won't be easy but it's worth trying. It's always better to do something than to do nothing. I've never heard one story where somebody said they kept trying and kept trying and made mistakes and then didn't succeed.
I don't think anybody who tries different approaches and never gives up ever fails in the long run. I think they become more fearless and stronger than what they'd imagine.
Hope this helps in some way!