Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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orion777 07/24/2016

Sometimes I face a weekend alone. It happens. Other weekends I don't. It is scary and daunting to face a weekend alone. I have to admit at times that I've made a deliberate choice to be alone given the options. Here is what I mean: every year I would go to the holidays and my alcoholic father and violent brother would destroy it. I would go out of obligation and not to be alone. I wasn't sure I had other options. My brother's outbursts got so bad that at times the cops would have to be called. He had hit me several times and it just got so bad it made me sick. My therapist/coach said to stop going. So I did. It got better.

So, this logic applies to other siutations where there are other people who are generally dysfunctional, contentious, or always having problems. I went out Friday alone because my girlfriends hate going out to meet men. I guess they are sick of men. It was a lot of fun I really enjoyed myself. That's a different story. Saturday came and I was moaning to myself that I felt lonely. There was a potluck going on with the crazy support group (there have been fights several times there) so I decided not to go. I then got a phone call from a friend to go out to the movies with a bunch of people who are in a clique. They have excluded me and shut me out for years, and the man I reallly liked there did the same. I find that I feel worse when i hang out with people that when I leave them I feel worse and more depressed then ever. I've noticed a pattern over time that my depression worsens not because I choose to spend time alone in the house and not initiate contact, but when I put myself in the presence of others who ignore, belittle or bully me. So, it would be easy to have just said OK and gone to not spend the weekend "alone" but I actually felt a sense of relief that I declined. I was less depressed sitting here by the fan. There were times the tension would go through me and my mind would start running from the isolation in circles, but it sure beat that horrible feeling when I would go to these events feeling relatively alright, then come home and start crying like mad. I guess it's a choice I made.

sonnycamehome 07/24/2016

It sounds like you made a healthy choice by choosing not to spend time with people who are dysfunctional and don't treat you well...I would say you did a good job!

orion777 07/24/2016

Thanks! I think I did too! (Even though it sucked in the moment)

stimpy 07/24/2016

Wow! I read everything you said, and I agree, you did the right thing. I completely understand what your going through. It's like what's worse? Being with people and being miserable, or being alone and being miserable? To me, it's EASIER being alone, because no one judges your behavior. That don't judge your feelings. If they are feeling "up" and your feeling "down" then they get mad at you because your not on the same page. And frankly, that wears me out. I get tired of having to justify the way I feel. But maybe I am just in my own head, maybe nobody else is giving me a second thought. But, I would say if you are feeling bullied at any time, LEAVE!!!! People bully because THEY are feeling inadequate and small and crappy about life. One of my tactics of being around people and feeling "good" is I join a class where everybody is passionate about the same thing. Most people that are doing the things they enjoy and love are in a "good mood" so they treat you better and you are uplifted by it. Feeling lonely does not feel good. It can be painful, but know you WILL come out of it and can start working on getting around better people. I hope I helped you. I am not a therapist or anything, just I have dealt with the same problems. Now my big problem is: I have to figure out if you read this or not and if I get any responses, because I still trying to figure out how this site works.

JeanaRose 07/24/2016

You did the right thing by staying home. I am new here and I am struggling, myself, not quite so much with depression as with frustration and some challenges that have come up in my life. However, I have had a little training in what is nowadays termed 'social services' and I have worked in a counseling environment with some great counselors as mentors, as a technician and manager mostly. The reason I mention this is because there is not a doubt in my mind that the counselors I've worked with would ask you, first, whether you have considered researching groups and events in your area that take in your interests and that you may be able to join up with on a sort of trial basis, to see if you are interested. The people you already have 'tried' being with, and the ones you were relying on to go out with, don't seem like a good fit for you. To continue to rely on them, or to hope that they'll continue to occasionally provide the social connections you want, is just beating a dead horse, so to speak. I really think that someone like you who is genuinely social, can find some new friends pretty easily. I don't mean this in an over-simplified way--in fact, it's a pet peeve of mine when friends over-simplify a matter!-- It's just that I know it's challenging to find new friends, but I also know that one can check out local newspapers and see what groups are meeting--the reason they make announcements in the newspapers and entertainment papers are because they want new blood! ha They seek folks to keep the group alive and varied and fun. Remember, you have a lot to offer. And remember how fun it can be to meet and click with a new person, how it feels to hit it off with someone new, and how good it feels to make a suggestion to a group, about an outing or activity, and hear folks actually agree with you with some enthusiasm.

stimpy 07/24/2016

You are so RIGHT JeanaRose. Well said.

JeanaRose 07/24/2016

p.s. I'm not talking about dating groups, I'm talking about shared interest groups. By their nature, such groups tend to be positive and upbeat. It depends upon your interests. A little group that likes to go check out new restaurants together might be fun? A group that likes to pick and choose what theater events to attend together? Movies? You could even start one of your own, you might have fun being a catalyst for something new and fun, figuring out a meeting place, leading discussions for exploring things to do, that sort of thing.

JeanaRose 07/24/2016

Thanks, stimpy :)

gettingitstraight 07/24/2016

I have made the conscious choice to be alone in a lot too based on my past and other issues. I have my kids 5 days a week and this weekend they were with their mom I chose to stay home we make the decisions we do for a lot of reasons sometimes we live with them and are happy and other times they are not

mega54 07/25/2016

It is a balancing act for me to try to figure out if I want to be social or to isolate. There are many times that I am quite content to do what I do and to be alone. Other times, I feel lonely. Yet, I know myself well enough to know saying "No," or walking out of a bad situation are very difficult for me to do. I think we all deserve chocolate kisses for talking about this. Hugs

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