Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I don't know which Way to turn right now. Lately I've felt like I'm Invisible to just about Everyone. Plus, with the Extreme Osteoarthritis in Both of My Knees, I've felt completely Useless... like I might as well be a ' bump on a log ' - so to speak. I can't do much without Help. I can't do any Housecleaning, I can barely do anything in the Kitchen, unless I'm sitting on the Chair I have sitting in front of the Kitchen Sink. Cooking always feels like too much of a hassle for Me to bother with, so I end up using my Microwave 99% of the time. I have to ask My Niece to help Me do my Laundry whenever I can get Her to come Over to help Me. I hate having to ask Her for Help with that. I hate it more than I can really put into words. It just doesn't seem right to Me. She shouldn't have Me leaning on Her for any help. She has enough in Her Own Life to deal with right now.
Noone ever comes around to Visit. I had a couple of Friends that lived near Me for awhile, but They moved to New York state many months ago. Since then I've had Noone. Some days I even Wish I'd have Collection Agencies call Me so I could at least have Someone to talk to. That's pretty pitiful, huh ? Well, that's Me lately.. Pitiful... Useless.. and Invisible.
I can't go Out anywhere because I don't own a Car, and even IF I had One it wouldn't matter because of My Bad Knees. I wouldn't be able to Drive a Car even IF I had One right now. Besides, since I'm barely surviving on Social Security Disability, I wouldn't be able to afford owning a car anyway.
For awhile I had a " High Point " in my Life. His Name was " Jeff ". He lives in South Portland, Maine. I've known Him for many Years Now, but We never got around to meeting in Person yet. I thought that Him and I shared something " Special ", but now I just don't know. The Reason I say that is because as of now I haven't heard from Him for almost 2 MONTHS ! I don't Understand it ! The Last time I talked to Him - on the Phone - He said He was going to go see a Movie, but He would Call Me back when He got back from it. Well, He NEVER called Me back, and hasn't Called Me since then ! It makes Me wonder WHAT I did Wrong ? He had told Me during Many different conversations in the Past that " He Loves Me ", and I believed Him. I trusted Him. Was I so Stupid to have Trusted Him ? Am I a Complete IDIOT for Trusting Him ? I'm wondering about this. I just don't know What to think. He always seem ' different ' than Other Guys, or at least I thought He was. I guess that maybe I was wrong about Him. It Hurts Me deeper than I can say to have to say that... even just to write about it.. Hurts a LOT !
I was so Sure that Him and I were MEANT to be Together. Yes, maybe that was " Old-Fashioned " of Me, and Maybe also " Naive ". But, How could I have been so Wrong ?! It makes Me feel like perhaps it's stupid of Me to Trust Anyone ! Do You blame Me ? Why am I so " Un-Lovable " ? Why would He say He Loved Me, IF He didn't mean it ?! I need Answers to badly, but I don't know IF I'll ever get the Ones I need.
I HOPE SO... but I guess Time will tell.
Noone ever comes around to Visit. I had a couple of Friends that lived near Me for awhile, but They moved to New York state many months ago. Since then I've had Noone. Some days I even Wish I'd have Collection Agencies call Me so I could at least have Someone to talk to. That's pretty pitiful, huh ? Well, that's Me lately.. Pitiful... Useless.. and Invisible.
I can't go Out anywhere because I don't own a Car, and even IF I had One it wouldn't matter because of My Bad Knees. I wouldn't be able to Drive a Car even IF I had One right now. Besides, since I'm barely surviving on Social Security Disability, I wouldn't be able to afford owning a car anyway.
For awhile I had a " High Point " in my Life. His Name was " Jeff ". He lives in South Portland, Maine. I've known Him for many Years Now, but We never got around to meeting in Person yet. I thought that Him and I shared something " Special ", but now I just don't know. The Reason I say that is because as of now I haven't heard from Him for almost 2 MONTHS ! I don't Understand it ! The Last time I talked to Him - on the Phone - He said He was going to go see a Movie, but He would Call Me back when He got back from it. Well, He NEVER called Me back, and hasn't Called Me since then ! It makes Me wonder WHAT I did Wrong ? He had told Me during Many different conversations in the Past that " He Loves Me ", and I believed Him. I trusted Him. Was I so Stupid to have Trusted Him ? Am I a Complete IDIOT for Trusting Him ? I'm wondering about this. I just don't know What to think. He always seem ' different ' than Other Guys, or at least I thought He was. I guess that maybe I was wrong about Him. It Hurts Me deeper than I can say to have to say that... even just to write about it.. Hurts a LOT !
I was so Sure that Him and I were MEANT to be Together. Yes, maybe that was " Old-Fashioned " of Me, and Maybe also " Naive ". But, How could I have been so Wrong ?! It makes Me feel like perhaps it's stupid of Me to Trust Anyone ! Do You blame Me ? Why am I so " Un-Lovable " ? Why would He say He Loved Me, IF He didn't mean it ?! I need Answers to badly, but I don't know IF I'll ever get the Ones I need.
I HOPE SO... but I guess Time will tell.
dont put any pressure on him but just see if he contacts you
as your knees are so bad (mine are too I was due a replacement) are you going to be able to have surgery - I cant at the moment as I am on warfarin so my surgery has to wait
keep posting on here and it wont be long before you have a new support network and not in the physical world but at least you will be having interaction with others
I hope your day is good
H
my mom has one... she rarely uses it... but when she needs it, its there
she also has folding chairs everywhere so she can sit down whenever she needs to really...
we encourage her to do as much as she can (because the more you do, the more you can do), but we recognize her limitations and help her with them.
like, cooking, cleaning, etc... but she does her own laundry, bill paying, and other things she can sit down to do
about your friend...
do you have his contact infos? can you call him? any of his friends? if you know where he lives, can you check hospitals, jails, etc, to make sure thats not a possibility?
internet people vanish a lot tho, for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes, no reason at all... internet friendships/relationships always run that risk, its something you have to expect in the back of your mind...
i hope youre doing ok.. and if you ever need someone to talk to, we're always here for you... please feel free to IM me any time you want! if im not here i'll respond as soon as i am.... and theres lots of others here that're happy to do the same!
*hugs* :)
As far as Your comments about ' Internet Friendships / Relationships ' goes, I suppose You're probably right. I should have realized all along that there was a big chance that Jeff wasn't totally sincere about His Feelings towards Me no matter how He sounded, since Maybe all along He hasn't thought of Him and I as ' Real ' like I have. It's a possibility I'm beginning to see that I'm going to have to face. I just got very carried away, and I was so Hopeful that I had finally found the " ONE " that I was Meant to be With. Know what I mean ? This Weekend hasn't been too great. I've been Sleeping for 99 % of it... in Fact Sunday I did just that... I Slept ALL Day, and ALL Evening, until I finally woke up around 12 Midnight. So I thought I'd come on here, and see if I had any Replies. I'm glad I did have a couple. It means a LOT to Me.
its real alright... it just isnt the same as a face to face, physical relationship (physically in the same room, im not talking about sex)
a little girl's relationship with her favorite stuffed animal is very real too... but its also very different.
you just have to recognize it for what it is, and isnt.
some internet relationships can become real life ones, but the VAST majority of them cant... and theres 100 reasons why
but it doesnt mean its not real
internet relationships can often be much more intense than RL ones... they happen very quickly... i think the relative anonymity of the internet lets people open up to each other faster.
and they can end as fast as flipping the switch, literally.
but the emotions are still there... you didnt imagine those... you may have expected the wrong things (a guess!), but the emotions were real
dont put yourself down for feeling them
btw, you have no idea what id do for a good sleep like that... but yeah, i know what you mean... the way you got it wasnt very fun
*hugs*
I will bet that your niece does not mind helping you out at all. In fact, it is probably a distraction from her own problems.
I wonder if you are a candidate for an assistance dog. See if there are any canine assistance organizations in your area. Specially trained dogs can be a great aid to people with mobility problems. The companionship is a good thing, too.
Look for special transportation services so you can get out and about. Where I live, there are special "paratransit" vehicles. See if there are social services agencies to help you. Does your town have a Community Services center? This can be a great source of information and help for you.
Maybe you can join a support group to meet others who are experiencing life difficulties. You can tell the group leader about your transportation problems to see if someone can provide a ride.
Are you a religious person? You may want to contact a local church and tell them you would like to join but have mobility problems and would need a ride. Many congregation members are willing to help others in such ways. This again is a way to get out and meet people.
All of these suggestions require some effort on your part, but you deserve a chance for happiness. You need freedom from your loneliness. Believe me, you are worth it!