Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Feel robbed

dyinginside35
dyinginside35

Lately i have been doing research and trauma and its very interesting what i found out. I guess trauma affects development at an early age, well my dad kicked my mom in the stomach when i wasnt even born yet. I witnessed my dad hit my mom at 2 years old. My dad was abusive and an alcoholic. When my dad wasnt drinking he was great, did things w me etc.  As i got older, its like he wanted nothing to do with me.



I was subject to bullying,  rejection,  more abuse etc. Had ex boyfriends who only wanted  sex or my money. I feel like im only good enough for sex, or to just be a friend.  All of my friends are married kids houses good careers, i feel like i missed the boat on everything.  Ive had two guys just ask me why are you at 35 not married i wonder the same thing. I feel like something is wrong with me but i dont put myself out there due to being hurt for the million time. When i do, i get alcoholics or abusers. 




My whole life everyone has blamed my weight or talked about it but im trying to lose. My mom is with an emotional abuser, but and my dad is a druggie. My stepfather puts me down, doesnt do anything to help my mom and i around the house. In 2012, i was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my cousin. When i want to date certain guys that i like, its like no approval but hey they are out of my league.  Or if i want to do something with my hair get told to leave it alone. 



Deep down i love my mom but i feel robbed of a good life.  It depresses me so much and it hurts. I want love to be happy  etc. I feel lost.  My family has always blamed me, but i love them. Am i doomed to be a failure  and no love or anything?


janvi
janvi
hi..you can create your life story again..the book has not ended as yet..some things can always change. start with positive thoughts. past can be painful however we can still make a positive start with positive thoughts in our head.. take help from doctors, realatives , friends..HAVE A POSITVE HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE
sharaninmd
sharaninmd
I am sorry for the bullying, emotional sexual and abuse you have endured. I was raised in a family of both parents being alcoholics. When my father drank, he would be emotionally abusive. I have heard that if you were raised in an alcoholic family and an abusive family, you are most likely going to be involved with the same type of people you were raised by. It is what they are familiar with The cycle repeats unless the person chooses to make different choices in life. You don't deserve to be bullied, or abused in any way. I wasn't able to cope with the way I was treated as a child and never had good self esteem and began having symptoms of depression so I started seeing a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The doctor prescribed medication. I have been in therapy a few times which was helpful. You are a worthy person who deserves to be happy and have a happy life.
dyinginside35
dyinginside35
Thats the thing, i dont want those type of men. I want better, the thing is do i really deserve it?
soulsearcher83
soulsearcher83
Next time somebody asks you why you aren't married by 35, ask them if they would ask a man the same question. If they say yes, they are lying and you can tell them so. Because no man ever gets asked why he isn't married yet.

I'm been dealing with a horrible mother my entire life. I am not married and I will be 34 at the end of August. Depression and anxiety in combination with abusive and messed up parents really did a number on me mentally. And I dealt with the same thing, thinking it's got to be my weight. I'm not thin enough. If I'm thin enough then I'll attract the right guy. I could be 120 and still not attract the right guy. I may get more attention at 120 but that doesn't guarantee the quality of men that all attract. It just means that the number of men I attract will be larger and therefore I'll have to sift through more. Most of them will still end up on the rejection pile anyway.

I did realize by the time I hit 30, finally, that I had to change my standards. I sent some very basic ground rules for any man that I would consider which significantly narrowed the playing field. And Im okay with that. Because I didn't want anybody who didn't at least meet those minimum requirements to be in my life. It's okay to not be married by 35 it's okay to not be married by 85. If you get married or I get married later on, great. But we don't need it. It's a nice to have.