You're at the right site bro! We all deal with this same issue and we all understand. A few weeks ago my doc gave me Klonopin because my anxiety was through the roof and it has helped so work with your doc on your meds. Also, I find writing everything out in my journal really helps me put things into perspective. Stay strong bro! You're do the right things!

you might need an anti psychotic and not and anti depressants. Zoloft and citalopram make me feel like lights on no one home. Respidol helps me.

Hey friend!

I feel your pain, as I know! I tried so many anti-depressants..nearly all of them, before I found one that helps! It does not make it go away...but it allows me to better manage it. Please do not give up! I know that is hard, as I too struggle with wanting to "end it"....daily! But press on my friend...you CAN do this!

As already said we all fight this same issue. I get tired of writing the same thing, but I had finally found a great psychiatrist that would not give up until he found the right combo that worked for me. The main med was Cymbalta, but I had to take several different things. I wouldn't do the zombie thing. Never have liked zombies and saw no point in being one. Point is he found the right meds. It didn't make me a happy camper, but I wasn't crying all the time and was able to function and even enjoyed some things. My life wasn't perfect but it improved tremendously. Lost my magic doc and had to see another one.Then needed meds adjusted, went downhill, had to change docs again, and things were still going down, I decided that maybe I had been on the same stuff too long, it had been mentioned I'd been on Cymbalta for quite a while, so this guy changed everything. Just found out I'm only taking one anti-depressant (wellbutron) which is apparently like taking nothing for me, I am so much in trouble. So ready to give up. Sick of being alone, sick of crying and when I manage to sleep, hate waking up. Can't make myself do anything. Thank God I retired a year ago. Finally found a knew doctor (have yet to meet but has to be better than the one I have been seeing) and a counselor at the same facility, I am so hopeful that they will make a difference,

Look for a new psychologist. Find someone that will listen to what you are experiencing and what you want, which is not to feel like a zombie. I know you are sick of waiting to find the right one, but it will be worth it to fight for it. The self-esteem crap seems to run rampant amongst us too. I have none and hate my guts. But I hang onto the fact that I hear so many people say they aren't worth a damn only to find others don't understand how they can think that about themselves because they happen to like them. You say you have friends, Bet you don't find them to be complete idiots, so, maybe they are right and you are wrong. You have value. Just won't accept it in yourself. Like I said, I hate everything about me, but I listen to others who have no self-esteem and I know their point of view is wrong, so I keep hoping I might someday discover I am wrong about me.
Those who have seen my posts cringe because they know I will ramble on and on. Last thing I will say. You can and will get better. Your feelings and experiences aren't different from most of us in general, so, do what you have probably told others to do. Hang on and keep fighting for the right shrink who will find the right meds and stay on site. The positive thinking thing is great, Try to think of how your friends and family see you instead of how you are seeing yourself. I think their opinion is more accurate at this point! Giving up isn't in the play book. You are needed here,

I haven't tried meds as I am scared of them, but there are times I wish I would. I hope you find something that works and you feel better.

thank you everyone for your support. i means the world to me that you all care to message me. i will keep trying to fight it. i have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow and i hope she can try to get me on a different med. have you guys tried any natural medications like st johns wort, or SAM E.

Perhaps a journal as was said.
Perhaps writing or reading about things you enjoy.

Perhaps a new job or perhaps some volunteer or charity work that can help others could help you feel good about yourself.

Talk to your doc about your med issues.Take care.