Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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mal66 03/14/2012

I have a phobia of living; it is so dehibilitating that I am not motivated to do anything except nothing. I become barely functional at work; when I come home I lounge on the couch until it's time to go to bed and repeat the process again the next day, and the next day, and so on..
I even spend time idealizing about death so my focus isn't spent on learn how to live; (not sure if that makes any sense...this is so ass-backwards!) Don't get me wrong, I fear death (the unknown) but I fear life & living more..Most, if not everyone, spend their time living to avoid processing death while I am the polar opposite..I really don't know how to revert my thinking.

immarcie 03/14/2012

I wish I had some nugget of gold wisdom to share with you that would answer your questions. Regretably, I don't.

I hope you have a therp and that he/she is a good one....you need an objective ally more than ever now.

What I do know from my own experience is that the more you "feed" that fear, the stronger it gets.....

I'll be the 1st to admit it's a b*** to fight but I have faith that you've come this far...you will make it the rest of the way!!!!

DCUK 03/14/2012

I DO AGREE WITH THE ABOVE ..! GO AND SEE SOMEONE AND GET SOME HELP. [[[HUG'S]]] X;]DC

koolman 03/14/2012

I think your fear of living is really a fear of making mistakes (which you will), and an obsession with being "perfect", whatever "perfect" means.

If you can let go of perfectionism, in yourself, others and life, and feel OK in being out-of-control like a wild idiot, I think you'll begin to laugh a little, make new friends, and enjoy life.

ElenaNJ 03/14/2012

i understand mal. i look forward to bed at night and dread when it's morning. i want a job so bad, and then fear that i won't be able to do it and i don't even, not even close to having one. you probably need to be shown how to live. you are stuck in a rut. i wasn't always like this either.

ElenaNJ 03/14/2012

mal, mb go to the bookstore and get some self help books, like the workbook kind. there must be some good ones out there. if you can push yourself to do so.

lol, look at me, the pot calling the kettle black.

deleted_user 03/14/2012

i have lived with this for so long feeling like you until getting really seriously ill. now I fear the act of dying. Failed suicide attempts and being ill have showed me I am afraid of the act of dying. I don't fear death itself. I believe it is just the opposite of life.

So now i am truly afraid of everything.

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