Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello all. I am so frustrated. My grandfather is dying of cancer..but he has been dying for a long time and he is not an easy person to deal with..he can be downright mean and he is 93 and dying slowly so he is frustrated and probably just wants to die ASAP! Now his daughters (my mom and aunt) are turning on each other. One, my mom, is a control freak and gets angry at the drop of a hat and my aunt is sensitive and is so depressed...and they attack each other and they are falling apart...Me I get depressed and my sister gets really angry at the drop of a hat...I dont know how to deal anymore. I am sick of this family falling apart..I wish we could just smile and be happy..and I hate to say this I feel bad for saying this..but I wish my grandfather would die already so we can heal....I love him I do..but whats the point he is miserable we are miserable...I dont get it..He has had terminal cancer for over a year. The doctors only gave him like 3 months and he is still here. I want him to go to heaven already to not be in pain. I want my aunt to stop draining herself visiting him everyday than getting sad when he goes psychotic on her. I want my mom to stop getting so angry at my aunt for being sensitive and I want my sister to stop getting mad at me when I express my concerns to her about how the family is falling apart...
We are just a big mess....I hate it!
And me...Now im having problems with my boyfriend we are taking "a break" right now to think things through because I myself have depression and anger problems....I just want to smile and have fun...when will that happen for me again?! I just want to call him...and i cant because I agreed to take that space....
I know im not alone and I have people that love me but I feel alone.
We are just a big mess....I hate it!
And me...Now im having problems with my boyfriend we are taking "a break" right now to think things through because I myself have depression and anger problems....I just want to smile and have fun...when will that happen for me again?! I just want to call him...and i cant because I agreed to take that space....
I know im not alone and I have people that love me but I feel alone.
You cannot control the behavior of others. Best to stand back from it, do not do battle with anyone, .. develop an immunity to the chaos. Be kind and patient with everyone and stay out of their issues with each other. Be removed from it.
Your Mother and Aunt are going through a painful loss of their Father and will have MANY different emotions. Just stay out of their issues.
Feel all you can for your Grandfather, give him what you have to give, and keep a low profile among all the 'trouble'. This is a difficult time and try not to plug into everything that is going on. Keep your head low and stay out of the troubles.
Well, my mother in law is not an only child. When it came close to her fathers death all hell broke loose. It was fairly contained but it still was messy. I tried to stay out of all the details as much as I could. But, it really was a battle of "who was the best kid".
It sucks. And, I definatly agree with wandering vet. Things come out that maybe inappropriate... but, they do... that's a part of grieveing. You do your best to gather your own feelings and try to let go as best you can.
The man that I lost was in technical sense my "grandfather in law"... But, really, seriously... It's not that simple.
Everyone is something to someone. He was actually more to me. He saw me for who I was...
Let everyone else in their own way grieve. Don't let it take away from what he meant to you.
I am sure you are not. I was not suggesting you were. I said don't get involved with THEIR battles. I also said to be kind and patient with everyone.
You are not responsible for what your Aunt does or what your sister does to your Mother, or any of that. You are only responsible for yourself.
It sounds like just about everyone is at their limit, .. and some are turning on others over this or that. Stay back, but be kind to them. What you did .. telling your Aunt you love her is what I am talking about. You cannot be the glue that holds everyone together. That job is too big for one person. Too many big time issues at a very bad time.
Be kind as you can to everyone, and know this is a rough time. Some will do better than others with it. Make sure you do OK with it.
WanderingVet thank you as well...I do know better and need to remember that I can not control anything in the situation but myself and my own reactions. Ugh I have such a headache!
My mom aunt and sister got into a fight today. My mom and sister against my aunt and when I spoke to my aunt I heard "have you talked to your mom? have you talked to your sister?" and from my mom I heard "have you talked to your aunt?" and I know they wanted to know "do u know about the fight" and yes I knew but I didnt talk to any of them about the fight..well except for my sister cause she told me about the fight...Instead I said yes i spoke to them and went on with the convo..didnt let them know I knew anything about the fight cause I was not getting in the middle of their stupid argument.
It will take time for them to work this all out. I agree, minimizing your emotional investment in the new power structure may be the only move that preserves your sainty.
Hugs to you