Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
May 15th I gave birth to two beautiful sleeping twin girls. I know it's only been a few days but I can't seem to get seeing my babies not moving on the ultrasound and having to give birth to them the following day out of my head. I feel like I will never be able to move on. I can't understand why God would let me be so happy just to turn around and steal it all away. I don't want to be sad and depressed forever but right now I don't see any other outcome. I had to come home and see all of the baby stuff we've gotten that will never be used. I'm scared to leave the house because I feel like everyone knows I was pregnant and they'll ask how the babies are or where are the babies. I feel lost and I don't know how to find my way back. Maybe someone will understand how I feel
My mother lost her 3rd child much the same way, he was still born about 60 years ago. My parents never really talked much about him, and I only found out the name they have him after they died and I was going through their papers.
Friends and family often say things like "what can I do?" at a time like this. You can take them up on this, make them your own PR firm (so to speak), and ask them to spread the news about what happened. This is a good chance to control news and their reactions. If you want support, you can ask your PR firm to request that people drop you cards, perhaps specific people can be asked to stop by.
When my sister died, her husband's brother stepped up and really helped him and his grown children manage that terrible time.
Friends will understand if some of them are asked to come visit, and others are asked to stay away. If they don't understand this, they are not friends to begin with.
There is a bereavement group here, if you are interested in joining it. I do not know how active the stillbirth group is, the bereavement group is moderately active.
Do be careful, I have seen and heard about groups that seem to focus on prolonging the grieving process, their mantra seems to be that they will never get over it. I agree that it is very hard to "get over" such a huge loss, but we all need to get to a place where we are ready to deal with the stages of grief, and get to that other side where our lives can once again begin to prosper.
Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
Gentle hugs
What did we do? I guess we all rallied round, as family, and told whoever needed to be told, so that she didn't have to. She didn't want to have to tell people anything, so her husband and the family did.
We cooked casseroles and stews and took them over so she didn't have to cook. We came and did laundry. We babysat her eldest son and took her out.
Don't imagine your stuff will never be used. My sister went on to have two more healthy children. it's a terrible tragedy what you have undergone. But there is one thing I would like to say that's very important.
Your babies may have had something very wrong with them, that would have meant the ruination of the rest of your life taking care of them. Sometimes we think God is cruel, and sometimes he's not being cruel. Sometimes he's taking them early because he's saving them and you from something worse. And you don't know what that is.
Five days is far too soon. As a mother my heart breaks for you but also as a mother I know you can love these babies, and love more babies too.
First please take your time and deal with every emotion you are experiencing. That doesn't mean getting over it, just means finding your piece and your own way to handle it.
I was pregnant with triplets. We where very excited. Have multiples on both sides. It was a very difficult pregnancy, spent most of it in hospital.
During my 5th month things became dangerous for all of us. We lost one of our babies.
I can't wrap my head around the God part. My husband tries to reassure me that it saved our other children.
I hated him for that answer. I was angry & jealous he seemed rational. I wanted angry.
We went thru allot. He stuck it out. I am grateful but, I lost a piece of me,
I blamed myself for along time. Beat myself up for along time.
I finally went to speak with counselor. Multiples & hormones = postpartum.
No one checked that box for me. It wasn't until I couldn't handle the what ifs.....
So please, please find someone to meet with. My counseling helped with perspective.
Time has to handle all the answers you need to find. So very sorry for your pain.