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Ok I need some advice, badly. Long post but it's for a reason.
Ok, I met this girl online or whatever and I was just looking to chat, someone to be friends with etc. So I started talking with her, and from like the get go we were having deep convos that I never have with anyone else, tons of things in common etc. We became great friends you can say within a month, but I think I started eventually started to get feelings for her but I would end up denying them because the girl is younger(legal but eh)but too much younger (I'm 23) but I just was looking for a friendship. As time went on, we talked and talked and my feelings began to grow as I couldn't deny them any longer so I decided to tell her. I end up eventually telling her and she says that she feels the same not straight forward as I did but basically yes. So I'm like yes, awesome I think I found someone! Here's where things go downhill.
The very next day, she says that she needs to go somewhere for a week, out of nowhere. I was like "A week? Is it a vacation? lol" she says "...kinda"(take a note of that) And she has no phone so, we can't even communicate for the week she was gone, so I just tried to wait it out etc. I wrote poetry for her, let her cute notes, because apparently Im a hopeless romantic. And when she comes back after the longest week ever for me. I ask her "What was it for? A family emergency?" She says no "A vacation like I first guessed?" no again. Some I'm like what's going on, I ask her a few more questions and then she spits it out that it was actually a trip....with one of her previous ex's of four years. Knife in the heart. And her entire family went with her, because apparently he saved up for a year just to come visit her to take her on a trip...on his birthday..for a week. And she went because how could she turn that down I guess? She knew him for years etc. and it was a gesture that I guess she couldn't say no too.
So I asked her if she is back with him and she says she isn't sure, but me being me and knowing better. "Well you went with him for a week and played video games etc...." Then she basically says she has feelings for him again that apparently never left and she loves him still. She basically tells me that's it's her fault though and I have a right to be mad etc and tried to console me etc but really how much could she have done? Right now I'm just stuck and depressed, I'm not sure if I should be friends with her still after this or just forget about her completely and move on. I want to be friends with her but it's kind of hard because I still have feelings for her. Right now I'm just devastated and just don't know what to do? Any advice is welcome.
Ok, I met this girl online or whatever and I was just looking to chat, someone to be friends with etc. So I started talking with her, and from like the get go we were having deep convos that I never have with anyone else, tons of things in common etc. We became great friends you can say within a month, but I think I started eventually started to get feelings for her but I would end up denying them because the girl is younger(legal but eh)but too much younger (I'm 23) but I just was looking for a friendship. As time went on, we talked and talked and my feelings began to grow as I couldn't deny them any longer so I decided to tell her. I end up eventually telling her and she says that she feels the same not straight forward as I did but basically yes. So I'm like yes, awesome I think I found someone! Here's where things go downhill.
The very next day, she says that she needs to go somewhere for a week, out of nowhere. I was like "A week? Is it a vacation? lol" she says "...kinda"(take a note of that) And she has no phone so, we can't even communicate for the week she was gone, so I just tried to wait it out etc. I wrote poetry for her, let her cute notes, because apparently Im a hopeless romantic. And when she comes back after the longest week ever for me. I ask her "What was it for? A family emergency?" She says no "A vacation like I first guessed?" no again. Some I'm like what's going on, I ask her a few more questions and then she spits it out that it was actually a trip....with one of her previous ex's of four years. Knife in the heart. And her entire family went with her, because apparently he saved up for a year just to come visit her to take her on a trip...on his birthday..for a week. And she went because how could she turn that down I guess? She knew him for years etc. and it was a gesture that I guess she couldn't say no too.
So I asked her if she is back with him and she says she isn't sure, but me being me and knowing better. "Well you went with him for a week and played video games etc...." Then she basically says she has feelings for him again that apparently never left and she loves him still. She basically tells me that's it's her fault though and I have a right to be mad etc and tried to console me etc but really how much could she have done? Right now I'm just stuck and depressed, I'm not sure if I should be friends with her still after this or just forget about her completely and move on. I want to be friends with her but it's kind of hard because I still have feelings for her. Right now I'm just devastated and just don't know what to do? Any advice is welcome.
You think it's real - it's hyper real, extremely intimate... but not real.
So you can have this online love affair and it's intense and real and sincere - and about as important as an online game.
Very very tricky.
We learn this the hard way. The people in the real world are not the pieces of themselves they portray online. Just as I am sure your romance would have worn off and the stinky socks or whatever might have come to the fore in real life.
It wasn't real. It was a dream.
I know it's hard to be friends with someone after they hurt you like that and for most cases I would stop being friends with them over something like that. If you feel that being friends with her is something you are able to handle without letting your feelings get in the way however then go for it. Best of luck man, I been there and I know it's rough.
IRL = in real life
Whether that's stopping your Facebook chat because one of your IRL friends calls on the phone or me ending Twitter chat convos with an online friend because my IRL boyfriend is around, it's just what you do. Real life takes preference over virtual life.
I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt. I know a lot of emotions are involved in love when you're young. Some very beautiful emotions that you are only capable of feeling when you are young.
Think of this experience as practice for a future IRL girlfriend who you will have. The techniques of courtship and flirtation you learned with your online girlfriend you can use on a girl who actually lives in your city an you can really have in your life. That will be more fulfilling than an online girlfriend anyway.
The age thing is a unique phenomenon to America.