Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Totally new to this kind of thing but I need to vent. I have been up since 1am worried sick after my other half stormed out saying he was going to kill himself (he is home now) but this is just another part to add to the emotional roller coaster that started at the new year.
He blames me for literally everything that has gone wrong in his life, it's my fault he is depressed because I dragged him away from his family to a different part of the country after a big family fall out 4years ago we moved back in with my mum in England from Scotland as had no where else to go with a 4week baby, his older daughter is off the rails and in turn blames him for her behaviour his died died suddenly, his mum who has been diagnosed with cancer doesn't speak to him and I just think everything has got on top of him understandably.
This is where I get the blame and when I write this down I feel guilty for being ma, sad or upset because I want to make make it all better for him but he won't let me in, he lashes out and says it's my fault then the next minute he says he needs help and just wants to make me feel miserable as he does?
His work have noticed his depression and have advised for him to use their counselling service which he has phoned and left msg but not got back to him yet.
I'm just so exhausted fighting for the man I love when in actual fact I think he's gone forever!
I'm seeing an extremely dysfunctional family who have a racket going of blaming everyone else all the time. If he wants any control over his life he'd better start taking the blame.
it's tacky to be obnoxious to someone, and then tell them you 'just want them to feel as bad as you' boo hoo cry cry. Unbelievable antics. Do you really buy that stuff? It's bollocks, and you're a fool to buy into it. Just don't. Tell him to pull his head out of his arse. He's a manipulative whiner. If he's depressed, maybe it's because he's a huge jerk?
Everyone here has or has had depression. Not everyone here has used it for a get out of jail free card to act like a snotty child. Do you understand? From what you're saying I'm hearing 'snotty spoiled child.' For some reason I have no sympathy whatsoever, and I've been absolutely brought low by moving a thousand miles to be with someone whose parents were violent alcoholics, who himself was a very manipulative alcoholic... Things we do.
It's time to stand against this kid and tell him to pull his socks up. You have a baby to look after, you don't need two. He can have his depression in his free time. Let him have a massive cry in his bed at night. But no matter what level of depression a person has reached, being an asshole is NEVER on the cards, never acceptable, never appropriate.
And you'll find he'll probably cheer up if you lay down the law. That guy needs some boundaries.
What your character is determines how you will treat people, not your emotional state. The feelings you go through do not control how fairly you treat other people. That's ENTIRELY down to what you let yourself get away with, and what excuses you make for yourself.
You need these things lined up. Your problem with this guy is not that he's depressed. Your problem with him, is that he's dishonest.
My mum suffers from the depression something she has battled with for years but not once has it affected my life because she wouldn't allow it!
Yes he does need to grow up, and as you say his dishonesty is not appropriate to use and blame it on depression!
Thank you for your honesty!
Lashing out at his daughter, having someone to blame, makes him feel better, or so he thinks. Your guy needs to commit to getting help and if he doesn't, he's gotta go and go home to his family because this is verbal abuse. I don't care if he's depressed. It's still verbal abuse and you don't want you or your daughter to experience it because trust me, she will be his next target. If he refuses to get immediate help or says he'll get it but doesn't, he needs to leave. One call to a counselor through his job and waiting for a call back is not anywhere near enough. Every single time he turns it on you, leave or tell him to leave. Stop it in its tracks, even if all you can do is leave the room. Do not engage in it with him.
He's looking for a scapegoat. You're an easy, accessible target. Leave and never respond. Be consistent. Tell him you won't tolerate this. He has 3 weeks to find a therapist and psychiatrist. He may not get the appointments withing 3 weeks but that's more than enough time to find them and make appointments. If he won't, pack his bags and throw them out the door. Depression is no excuse to abuse the people around you.
What a week this has been on a positive note he has been to the doctor and is now on counselling sessions also. He has been prescribed setraline along with this as of yesterday.
His mood this week has been vile and he doesn't even speak to me unless it's necessary... Just feel so helpless :-(