Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know it's probably a reflection of both my depression and my ADD, but every day little annoyances like things going wrong, the internet going out, keep piling up to the point that I'm ready to scream. I get so frusterated, angry, and depressed, I can't hardly stand it. It's worse when it's the internet because then I can't reach Pinterest which is what I usually use to drown out these moods. Adding the stress of being out of work, not knowing how much longer my benifits will last, not being able to take driving lessons because no one will help me and no driving schools are taking adult students, and every time I try to do something to get myself out of this situation it blows up in my face or I get 3 or 4 more roadblocks, sometimes I wonder if it's really worth the fight.
The only friend who's kept up with me during the pandemic is trying to help, to her credit. But sometimes I wonder why. The more of a mess her life is, the more she tries to "fix" my life. The problem is, her solution is to enter into the medical field, because "they aren't being furloughed," but she just got furloughed herself, inspite of being in the medical field. Additionally, it just seems like her solution to my problems is to make my life just like her life; working in a field I never wanted to be a part of for low wages and living alone in an apartment separate from any friends. I don't think her solutions are going to work for me long-term, but I feel ungrateful for feeling that way.
The worst part about it is, I don't really see any other way out. No-one is hiring right now, my ADD and general lack of knowledge has made it really hard to figure out how to work for myself at home. I do much better when I have an external structure. So, I end up putting myself into dead-end retail jobs that my ADD makes me not very well suited for. I feel like I really need to get out on my own, because right now I'm living with emotionally abusive relatives. I just feel trapped with no way out.
I've been dealing with it by reading a lot and watching movies. Journaling relieves my stress too. Feel better.
Hugs and prayers
Do you feel that you are just internalizing or taking ownership of matters, events, things, people, and such, all of which you have no control over? I've done this so many times before and I always come up with the "let's call it a day" syndrome. And it is simply not easy to deal with internet crashes, unemployment, depression, mood swings, and who shot John issues. I know the feeling all too well myself.
Best to do is talk with your internet service provider and look into the matter with a grain of salt because the internet breakdown is something we've all had to deal with recently. And be prepared to jump hurdles with the agent helping you. I don't know what else to tell you.
It's natural to feel frightened when job prospects are in the waiting, but then online applications are available, which makes it somewhat easier to bear. Best of luck or God bless you. Keep in mind what can be obtained will be obtained. And settle for nothing less than the worth of your skills. You may even consider temporary hiring until something more suitable to your financial and skill level comes available.
It is so wonderful to have a friend who's interested to point ideas of goals. Ultimately, you have to make that personal choice. As well-meaning as those helping types of friendly relationships may become, you are the one and only person going through the job interviews, so this has to be with what's best for you in mind. I can see that you understand your friend's good intentions with empathy. However, the added stress is significantly at a higher degree as she intends to help you. Perhaps it is time to ask for a respite from outside helpers. Of course, with a hefty thank you for the service and a listening ear.
I do hope for a positive change real soon. Try to relax in the safety of your home today. Find some love time too. Best!