What exactly is going on and why are you so upset? What am I missing here? Your feeling matter and obviously you are reaching out for help so please tell me what is going on and what can I do to help you. Thanks

DaisyGirl, As it read her post, I feel her frustrations, the doc don't really care, the meds he prescribes are useless, and there are no friends/family that will show love, understanding and help, and from that maybe from that one can get a bit better and regain a small amount of hope for something more than just existing alone and trying to get through another day.

And what I've written above is how I feel, so I certainly get the pain and frustrations she feels. I feel bad for her, wish I could help.

Unfortunately i woke up another day. Only one day left.
I accepted person will never receive what i want her to get. Its probably better that way.

I don't think it's a mistake to post here. If you can't post here, where are you going to vent your sadness. We're depressed after all. You got to vent.
The sadness and pain you feel are like an infection. Can an infection be covered up. No..............
No, one way or the other it has to be opened and cleaned out or it has to be killed with a drug.
DaisyGirl has a point in wanting to find out more. We can help you more if you tell us more.
By the way Cindy, I live in the same general area as you. We may or may not see each other but hopefully you try to get some insight/ help here.

He took everything from me. He killed me. I should have known he would do this to me. But i was stupid. I wasnt thinking right. I thought life was hell before. Its worse than that now. When ahole was sleeping i at least had a little something in day to look look forward to. Now i only have to look forward to thoughts of me being a murderer. Thats a joke. Those thoughts really upset me. I dont know what is worse being accused of attempted murder or it being believed or not being able to try to defend myself from the accusations. Not being able to finish a sentence without judge cutting me off, not being able to hav my witnesses speak or present police reports.

Hitler was right mentally ill people shouldnt be alive. The world shits on you when you are mentally disabled. They see everyone as psychotic.

You see that there is a great group of people here that would like to help you. I would bet any of us would like to hear more about what has you so upset. If not comfortable discussing openly, you can PM me as I'm sure you could anyone here.

Nothing can change a thought more, than knowing others do care. Total strangers who want to know you and help.

Im a low life murderer. Attempted murderer. Attempted killer and killer is the same thing to me. Someone who doesnt deserve to live. No pill will change what i am. A child killer. Only thing that matters is judge believed it. I am crazy so i didnt deserve to be heard. Finish a sentence without judge interrupting me, my witnesses to be heard, police reports and phone records to be evidence. Judge took away my rights for defending myself as soon as scum bag ex said i was crazy. Ex admitted to committing crime under oath but its ok cause he is not crazy i am. Ex scum bag called police several times and said i was crazy but i wasnt arrested. If i didnt appear to be rational and sane. I would have been arrested. But judge wouldnt let me defend myself cause im crazy.

I would never hurt anyone. Just myself. I would go away to do that.

I hate scum bag ex. I should have seen his plans all along but i was too stupid. Worse thing i did was leave. It only got worse.

Not at all judgmental, but do you mind sharing what your current situation is at this time. I can hear your frustration.

Hello from the UK, you are followed across the world. LOL.

Your situation is desperate and you feel you have nothing to live for.

You aim to make tomorrow your last day? You say people don't listen and won't hear your story. We are trying to.

Today is not Halloween talk to me and us today. I have an afternoon free just for you.

I am just returned to work after a serious psychotic episode and feel Hitler could have been slightly wrong. LOL

Sorry I guess my humour is a bit jarring. I have had to use it to get past pretty horrible times.

I hope you will forgive me.

Right now. I have nothing. I have to live with guilt of being murderer. I never escape thoughts.

I don't know your situation but if you were with an abusive partner, then it is good to get away from such a partner.

Are you in process of a legal proceeding?

Irregardless, DS is a safe space where you may vent and with whom you will have many supportive people to help you.

Guilt can be so destructive. It will eat you alive unless you let it out. For me it's shame, shame is hard to live with but talking things out does help in the long run.

Shame almost did me in.

Guilt is just as hurtful and just as toxic. But whatever you did or didn't do I am happy to sit with you.

Try to remember that Hitler himself was a sociopath and although socipaths are not considered "mentally ill" they are far far more dangeous, I well assure you. Further, I would argue that he was a mass murderer.

If the events of what happened did not, and you feel bad about what almost happened, may I suggest that there IS HOPE FOR YOU. There was no hope for Hitler.

As far as eugenics is concerned, I don't play that game. Genetics is important to consider-to a point, but so is environment. Rread about Dr. Jimmy Fallon. His MRI scans showed the brain of a sociopath and yet he has never desired to be destructive. Why? Dr. Fallon was brought up in a stable and loving home which socialized him. Thus, genetics was trumped.

As well, many mad people have gone on to be famous artists, poets and visionaries of our age. Eugenics is wrong.

Realize your intrinsic worth as a human being. Feel grief over whatever you did wrong, but not toxic shame. Take steps to do what is responsible. Begin to heal by using medications, support groups and even 12 step groups. There will be crying, wailing and evne pounding of your fists on the floor, but eventually you will learn to take care of yourself and find that you are a real human being with feelings.

To boot, eventually you might even be able to speak about your experience and advocate--you don't know.

We are all survivors and we can all make a difference. Don't let society...dont' let an abusive person.......tell you who you are. Your guilt tells you that you have a conscience. Your guilt is a motivator NOT to end it all but to go forward and do better......

Don't go gentle into that good night...Rage rage against the dying of the light.


Broken but still standing.

Tell yourself: Every single day I live is an act of rebellion.

Bull shit. No one will ever convince me leaving abusive ahole is good. It was worse thing i did. Now i have nothing. I live each day in more hell than i lived in when i was with him. No pill is going to change that. I will never get back what i lost. Im not going to get over it. Or find something else. I choose not to be here any longer. I had enough pain. I am going to go where i will be happy.