Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Not sure what to say exactly. Depression has always been a struggle for me. I was able to cope with it at a young age with self harm. Then in my early 20's, it was covered up with excessive drug & alcohol abuse. But, all that got me was a few traumatic situations to recover from. Now in my mid to late thirties, completely sober and a Mom of two, I'm finding it hard to cope. This year has been a rollercoaster of a year for me with my physical health. After a slew of tests & procedures, was diagnosed with a few lifelong chronic illnesses that I am learning to manage. It's almost made me completely disabled, which unfortunately has taken a huge toll on my marriage. I've become the sole home maker, which is difficult for me to even complete those tasks on most days because of my chronic illnesses. My husband seems to be understanding for the most part. But, we just haven't seen eye to eye. It almost feels like we are speaking completely different languages to each other. I feel myself needing constant reassurance from him and I can see that it's bothering him. "I'm too much" But, for me, I know that I'm being "too much" but I need it right now. This year, with all these new diagnosis and medication changes, tests & procedures, it stopped ALL of my dreams and plans. I had to quit my job. I became the sole stay at home parent which apparently means, I'm literally in charge of EVERYTHING at home. I have no friends. No social life. No family. No support team. No babysitter. Nothing. Just home, 24/7. It's a lot. And, it's been really taking a toll on my mental health. I've expressed this a lot. I've been in therapy for over 5 years now and one thing I have learned, is to speak my truth. To speak up when it's really dark. When the world throws the heavy blanket on my shoulders and it becomes too much to bear alone. But, I feel like I'm screaming in the middle of a crowded room and no one sees me. I don't know. Just feeling very, lost. Empty. I'm not trying to be "too much" but I'm hurting and could really use some reassurance right now.
I get it. The pain and frustration your are going through. You do need some outlets away from your husband and children as your suffering being home all the time. They have community centers where I live with low cost classes, there is the YMCA. They are two suggestions. I am glad you are managing the chronic illness that is a big thing your doing. Despite how much you are suffering with the conditions your functioning and caring for others which is a good thing.