what to do indeed your in a catch 22 part of me wants to tell you you deserve better and you should not put up with been treated as second best but the other part wants me to tell you if she backs you happy stick with it

put yourself first and dont get hurt sorry if this is not helpfukl

look inside yourself, you know what is right for you. thats about as far as i can advise because hunny this one has to come from you. If it was me i can't tell you what i would do but i would like to think i would be strong enough and value myself enough to walk away

My main problem with this is I have other issues I really need to address and I find myself thinking of her way to much. I am mentally exhausted and as good as she makes me feel when I see her she has become 1 more issue of many for me. The last time we went out we were going out as friends only and she quickly made me feel like we were more than friends in a non sexual way.

dump her. seriously. don't wait for her to get over her ex and fall madley in love with you. won't happen. you deserve better!!

sounds like she might be bi polar

You have got to address your own issues first. How can you be of help to anyone if you let yourself fall apart.

Give the relationship a break to have time to concentrate on your issues. If in that time she is still interested and has let go of her ex, then you will be in a better place, without playing 2nd filddle to the ex either. If she has gone back with the ex, it wasnt meant to be, but YOU will still be a stronger person, in a better place to start a new relationship.

Her feelings for her ex boyfriend doesnt really bother me. I failed to mention I had just got separated when we met. We both have baggage. My ex wife treated me as bad as possible and I still was in love with her until recently so I can relate to her having a hard time letting him go. Not to mention she has 2 failed marriages and she told me she is terrified of falling in love with me...She has issues of her own and with all mine this could be a disaster. I really want to be with her but at what expense, I am going crazy. I cant get her out of my mind. As of right now I am planning on seeing her again and keep my expectations real low..and to the previous post i couldnt agree more about needing to resolve my other problems BUT when I am with her is the ONLY time I am not thinking about all of my issues because I am happy. She doesnt know about all my issues I will admit but I would never drag her into an unstable relationship. I believe I could make her happy even with my issues but maybe you are right i will have 2 give it some more thought. You kind of made me feel selfish which is good I want other peoples point of view. any more suggestions?

How exactly does she bring you...*happiness*?

Rule of thumb no relationships for a year after a separation. Thats "me" time ...rebound relationships do NOT work! Sounds to me like she wants her X back and is using you as an emotional pillow. Take a hike my friend! Don't need that in your life.

She brings me happiness because she is always smiling and happy when we are together. We have alot of fun and she is always giving me "that look"....She said the same thing about being on the rebound thing. I personally dont get it. If I enjoy being with you and you enjoy being with me what is the problem. Its not like I am trying to get super serious with her I just enjoy our time together...As far as the ex boyfriend thing goes I have to admit I really dont know whats going on but obviously that will be a factor if we continue a relationship....and as far as your no relationshisp for a year after a separation rule. I am already divorced, my exwife ruined my life on two separate occasions with a smile on her face and I will never let her be the reason for wasting another day in my life again. I have been alone for 2 long as it is even when I was married. If I even do love this girl it would only be my 3rd in 39 years its not like i fall in love with everyone i meet.

talk to her about it......asking her where you stand

is it me or do u sound more "involved" than she is?

Ivear that is the problem i dont know. EVERY TIME we are 2 gether she says she wants 2 be with me. Sometimes she tells me she loves me. Then 4 whatever reason she backs out. I havnt even asked her if she wants to go steady in months. She brings it up on her own and backs out. I am fine with just dating her or being friends if that is what she wants but if I can get closer to her I will. She confuses the hell out of me. She is emotionally crazy.

think of how ur describing this situation, if it was i telling u all this what would u recommend? i mean u wrote: "She confuses the hell out of me. She is emotionally crazy". r u trying 2talk urself in or out of this? cuz that doesn't sound very appealing-sorry.

Eoccho said it best. I just want to know where I stand. 1 day she loves me the next she wants 2 date me and the 3rd day she wants to be my friend. Over and over. How can that not be described as emotionally crazy. I am perfectly fine with any of her choices if she would stick by it..The last few times we have gone out has been just as friends and she is all over me..u cant understand why that would confuse the hell out me? Ultimately I want her to make a descion because I would like her in my life one way or another and as you can see she has me mentally drained. I would not be happy if I have to not see her again because she is frying my brain and at some point obviously enough is enough.