Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hey guys I'm in the car right now we're on our way home after spending the day with my family but my mom got very drunk and she tends to get very violent and very emotional when she's drunk. She's never hit me before when she's drunk but I will never forget when she tried to choke my dad in his sleep last summer...im very scared that she will try this again. Right now I'm crying silently because I recently went through a breakup he was my bestfriend and it's so hard to not be able to reach out to him right now. I can't! But anyways she went on and on saying that I have no right to tell her that she should stop drinking because I lost my virginity to my ex she says I am a whore and I have no rights anymore she says she doesn't consider me her daughter anymore. She says ever since I "spread my legs" for him I lost every respect she had for me. She's said many mean things to me before but this really has stabbed me in my heart. I hate the fact that she's like this when she's drunk and the worst part is that these may be her real feelings towards me. Why is she so heartless...I feel so alone right now because I can't reach out to him and I just want to get home to cry all night. Those things she said are replaying in my head now
Have you thought of al-anon or ala-teen?
When I was barely 13 something happened (or rather mom thought it did) and her reaction was to "forget" it and not tell dad. Even though I had done nothing wrong, from that moment on I would feel guilty and dirty at the mere thought of sex or any type of physical contact . It was many years later (in a therapy session that I would discover it was a reaction of fear on her part that i would wind up like her .....having to marry because she was 2 months pregnant and then settling in a very unbalanced marriage where she gave all and got very little back.) Both of my parents were also the reasons their parents did marry......everybody at the magic 2 month mark. they felt responsible for their unhappy families and never good enough. But they did the best they could with what they had learned from their parents....
You said mom wound up drinking after a family gathering . I would be willing to bet that something brought up the same painful memory that she actually got from her mom (or another family member) and she was trying to reflect it on you.
There is very little chance that she does believe all those hateful, hurtful things she said (or says) to you, but sadly probably does believe them about herself.
I think you would do well if you had some support from maybe an Alateen or Alanon group in your area (or online).
PS Even though you and your boyfriend split ,if he truly was your best friend and you are ever in such a bad place again.... I don't think it would be out of line to maybe just text him and tell him you just needed a friend to listen. (But that's just my opinion)
I wish you the best and hope you hang on and do what's best for you. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT....NOONE DOES.