Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Drowning

SharPrat
SharPrat

I use to be able to bring myself back to reality but its getting harder. Ive been beat up so much by my divorce. Court. Fighting custody. My oldest child not speaking to me. Father is against my decision to divorce. Working so much just to afford a place to live. No money. Struggling. Arguing. Im tired. Im tired of fighting. Getting up everyday. Being strong. Trying to find the positive in all this. 


I have come so close so many times to wanting it to end. I have stopped myself but it keeps coming back. The pain keeps choking me with anxiety and exhaustion to the point I cant move.   


Ive wanted to committ myself just to sleep and be left alone for awhile. But that comes with a whole long road of explanations to everyone. A whole list of people worrying and asking what is wrong.  I watched my mother go into a hospital when I was 11 and I cant do that to my son   Its as if my life is manifesting in tgat direction and I cant stop it.   I feel like my brain is in jail and if I get help no one will believe me that Im not crazy Im just hurting so badly inside my soul.


God I just want to be happy but I cant find it anymore. All I feel everyday is heartache, anxiety and worry.  I do accept my happiness in the past was alot of covering up pain from my childhood that I have not fully dealt with but my god, Ive done therapy. I take medication.  Does it ever go away. The trauma. The pain. The constant fuck of it all?!

Restful
Restful
I am so sorry you’re struggling. I wish there was some magical way out, but I haven’t found it yet. The only advice I can offer is to try your best to take one moment at a time.
SharPrat
SharPrat
Thank you. Im trying.
growthhurts
growthhurts
SharPrat, I'm sorry you are struggling. You mentioned therapy...was it to come to terms with your past? If so, did you make progress? Have you thought about seeking other therapy? I have struggled with depression for years. Sometimes life is great and sometimes it is really hard. As a single mom with financial struggles, I know how exhausting it can be sometimes. Slowing down helps me. When my DD is visiting her dad, I sometimes just sit in quiet. Or nap. If the house needs cleaned, I don't feel guilty anymore. I just do it when I have the energy. I believe you, that you are in pain. I think our loved ones do too, they just always don't know what to say and just don't know what to say. I'm sure if was very difficult seeing your mom go into the hospital but you don't have to travel that road. Don't picture yourself heading that direction. Imagine yourself free and refreshed, in your happy place, and let that be what manifests! Out thoughts are very powerful. When you feel alone, reach out to others. Friends, loved ones, this group. It's going to be ok ;) (((hugs)))
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