Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Down I go again!

alitlmorsly
alitlmorsly
I was doing better for a week or so, now i'm spiraling into depression again. The same old feelings and thinking about death all the time are back. I'm on Luvox for OCD, it is working fine for that, but it isn't working for the depression anymore. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I just got sober again after a relapse. Even when I was sober for 2 years I still felt worthless. I am disabled due to a physical illness. I don't do much of anything but sit on the couch and watch TV. I feel so useless to society and wish I could go back to work, unfortunately that is not possible. I'm bored, lonely and really can't see myself living the rest of my life this way! I can't seem to get motivated enough to do anything. I just feel so damn worthless! Sly
trifar014
trifar014
Sly, please don't ever feel worthless. Everyone's life is a gift and valuable, whether we work 24 hours a day or simply do nothing at all.

I can relate to how you feel, but it's not our fault. It's not your fault that you feel sick. And it's not the end of the world to relapse. It happens. Please don't ever give up, and remember no matter how lonely you feel, you are not alone. Your life is important. Hugs.
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
I'm sorry, we all know what it's like to feel those thoughts coming back, and it's not easy to deal with.

I'm wondering if you can find meaning in your life by volunteering. Even if you can't leave the house due to your illness, I would think that you can help by doing this online, or making flyers, or something like that. I would find an organization you're interested in and call to see if you can help from home in any way. Most places won't turn down the help, and even if they don't have something for you to do right now they can call you when they do. How does that sound?

((Hugs)) to you! And I hope you're feeling better soon
gramybear
gramybear
Are you getting your medication from a regular MD or an actual psychiatrist? It does make a difference. trifar is so right in saying that everyone's life is a gift and valuable. Now we just have to help you see that as well. Have you made an appointment with your doc to discuss with him/her that the medication doesn't seem to be working for your depression? Being on disability ( I understand as I am as well) is very difficult and it can bring both our self esteem, and self worth down. However, you have a lot to be proud of. You have stopped drinking after a relapse and that is something to really be proud about, don't you think?. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this very long battle that we all fight, whether it be emotionally , physically, or both. There is a lot of support on these boards, and there are many for you to choose from that would help you. I however think this is one of the best, with the best people you could ever ask for to be on your side, but then I am prejudice! :-)
I would try the Loneliness board if you haven't already, see who you may have things in common with and get to know them so you don't feel all alone and know that you AREN'T alone! If and when you are ready to share with us the rest of your story, we are here to listen. Hugs Gramybear
alitlmorsly
alitlmorsly
I had a psychiatrist, but after I went to the hospital they sent me to a place called comcare, which told me I didn't need to see them. I went back to my psych and they told me I needed to go to comcare. Lol So I have been seeing my regular doc again. I'm tired of the run around! My psych was an asshole and wouldn't listen to me anyway.
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
Shopping around for a good pdoc can be horrible. My first pdoc, back when I was 16 or 17 was TERRIBLE. I HATED him. But I got really lucky with the lady doc I have now. She's not perfect, but she'll do ;)

Maybe work with your doc now and keep looking for a pdoc? Or if you really like your PCP, then you can stick with him or her for now; totally up to you.