i am sorry this keeps happening to you. you deserve to be treated better.....do not know if it is any help but i have the same problem.all i want is to be treated like i treat them..but like you it seem that is too much to ask for..ppl just seem to take advantage of you or totally disreguard your feelings..like you do not have any.......it is so frustrating.....maybe knowing some one else goes through simmilar things might be of some help.

It does help when someone knows exactly how you feel. Thank you for that. I am sorry it happens to you as well. I've always said walk in my shoes for a mile and you will know how I feel.

I'm sorry that you feel like this.........
Can I ask why you keep letting people treat you like this? I'm not trying to be harsh - I'm just a firm believer in the concept of you being the one that teaches people how to treat you. If you don't want to be treated like a doormat, get off the floor. You have to treat yourself with respect before you can expect it from others.

I don't like tension or confrontation. I have a lot of rage in me that I keep in check constantly.
Instead of unleashing it, I take it out on myself.

I understand that completely - the concept of turning your rage onto yourself instead of others. The thing is, allowing people to treat you like shit probably feeds into those feelings of anger. You likely feel a sense of powerlessness and an inability to control your life and who you are allowing into it and therefore you are bound to feel rage. You don't have to be confrontational when disallowing people to treat you badly - just simply don't allow it. Cut off relationships that are toxic and stand up to people that don't value and respect you. You don't have to full-out go postal on them - just make it known that you are not tolerating any demeaning behaviour.
You have a right to be treated with kindness in life - you just have to believe that first. Which is easier said than done, I know.

That is why I have no friends, because I do cut ties to people that treat me badly.
That is why I also beat myself literally cause it's not against the law to hit yourself. I am not about to take it out on anyone else even the people that treat me badly.

I didn't suggest that you start beating the crap out of people or being rude to them. I suggested you start being intolerant to people treating you badly.
And honestly, I would rather be completely friendless than to hang out with people who treat me disrespectfully. You do realize that they are not your friends, right? Friends do not consistently treat each other badly.
If you self-abuse you likely should go and talk to a therapist. You would be surprised what they can teach you about loving and respecting yourself and helping you to put boundaries up when it comes to others.

Oh I know that is not what you meant. I just told you so you would know that is how I deal with my rage by self abuse.
I have tried therapy in the past and it's just not for me. They don't help and the last therapist I saw had no empathy for what I was going thru and told me right to my face that I was lying. I am my own counsel and my own best friend. When I go thru a rough patch like now this is my coping mechanism.

I'm truly sorry that you feel you have to resort to harming yourself.

My suggestion would be to try and find yourself another therapist. Like medication, it can sometimes take time and patience to find the right fit for *you*. You are not being a friend to yourself by self-abusing. You need to find other healthy ways to cope with your feelings and emotions. Hitting yourself is akin to cutting, addictions, eating disorders, etc - it becomes a go-to in dealing with unpleasant emotions. You need help with finding alternatives.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I have a whole history of allowing others to treat me abysmally. That was years ago. I'm kind of the polar opposite now - through therapy, self-love and exploration and healing I would now not DREAM of letting anyone shit on me in life. Pity the person that tries.......lol.
I hope you re-consider getting professional help. You deserve to be treated well by others and yourself.
Peace
Jen

Keep trying different therapists till you find one that is empathetic. Took me a couple of years to find one. I've found that ones with PhD's are better than counselors. I've also found that men are more empathetic than the women..just my personal experience