I am so sorry to hear you experienced all these things. We all need time alone sometimes. The question is, when does it change from being theareputic to isolation? In your heart you will know the difference. We all have those triggers that invoke anger, it takes a lifetime to be able to catch the trigger before you react to it, but you are human. All you can do is learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and learn from the experience, that is the trick. We all have guilt, memories of what we did wrong or don't like about yourself, you are not alone. If you care enough to feel bad then you are not a bad person. You have been through a lot, you will have those days where life just doesn't make sense, and it will take time to adjust to the changes. Something you can't force, but acceptance is truly the key to feeling like yourself again. You didn't build your hopes and dreams in a short period of time, so you won't build your new life in a short period of time either, but one day you will. Try to start thinking about your new life, what do you want it to be? It's the best thing you can do. This will pass I promise you, be strong in the meantime.

Thankyou for answering me.
I went through allot ..Divorced got custody of my kids then a month later a layoff from work. Then had to sell the home. Then a year later My dad passed away. My x constantly calling the cops for Bs. Finally I gave up . She did get her shit together and I asked the kids where would you like to live as they were preteens then. They said mom. I didnt stop them.

Now this was 10 years ago and ever since then I would rather not deal with people.

People just seem to piss me off. I fly off the handle for stupid shit. One guy says I have bi polar. The disrespect and the gossip and all of that.
I even stayed home from work because I cant deal with all that stuff at times
My neighbors and the disrespect they have. One plants shit on the property line that I have to constantly trim back so I can park . The other seems to think its ok to take what he wants from my property (example using a bolder to use as his tire stop.)
Petty stuff that I have a hard time dealing with. I would rather be alone and then I would rather not feel this way too.
I have been told I am just having a pitty party and maybe I am
The thing is I cant seem to change it and have been dealing with this for many years.

ssdroneflyer, I believe the doctor was only attempting to help. The psychological rationale for ventilating anger is what I imagine is best for you, so I agree that you just need to talk or get it off your chest.

And you've got a lot of situations of social injustice going on. I'm sorry for this too. And I'm happy that you are scheduled to see another doctor for further recommendations. I personally feel that you are taking on feelings responsible for what others are doing to you, and I can clearly tell that others are just not taking the time to understand your heart (and rights! Gosh, the nerve of neighbors!)

Hopefully, the doc will direct you to a good anger management program. You have been provoked for far too long, possibly even victimized. You only need to feel vindicated, or in better words, you should investigate an effort to follow a good emotional release plan.

Best of the day to you!

Sometimes it feels like we are targeted by the universe, maybe we truly are. Sometimes a downward spiral gets so intense that it propels itself. I know it sounds crazy, and way easier said than done, but strength is thinking good thoughts even when you are suffering. The bad stuff will always be there, regardless of if you think about it all the time or not, look deep inside yourself and pull out those good thoughts. That is the only way to turn this thing around.

Update...I have seen my doctor and he did give me something to help my anxiety . I have been trying to find a therapist, but I do not live in a city so it is difficult to find one.