Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Im a mess...my life is a mess......i cant feel good without feeling guilty and making myself feel worse again.....
I feel I can control my meds...if Ive had enough of feeling good...i fight against my meds and make them not work, or is it just that they have stopped working and I need yet another med change.
I cant see a future with me coping and living normally.....and when I really think about that...I just want to die now, get it all over and done with, and that really scares me...cause thats not what I want...I have 4 kids and a wonderful husband...but when these thoughts force their way in...they are nowhere in the picture...and that just really freaks me out....I dont hear voices....but have thoughts...that arent mine...forced into my head and can not think for myself......i just want it to stop before they make me go to far.....need to up the dose of seroquel to stop them...but then I miss them, want them back...how stupid and messed up is that??????
I feel I can control my meds...if Ive had enough of feeling good...i fight against my meds and make them not work, or is it just that they have stopped working and I need yet another med change.
I cant see a future with me coping and living normally.....and when I really think about that...I just want to die now, get it all over and done with, and that really scares me...cause thats not what I want...I have 4 kids and a wonderful husband...but when these thoughts force their way in...they are nowhere in the picture...and that just really freaks me out....I dont hear voices....but have thoughts...that arent mine...forced into my head and can not think for myself......i just want it to stop before they make me go to far.....need to up the dose of seroquel to stop them...but then I miss them, want them back...how stupid and messed up is that??????
Have you talked to your therapist? maybe you need to change your medication. The fact that you are thinking about your 4 kids is a good sign. I used to be on prozac and it INCREASED suicidal thought for me...I talked to my therapist and stopped my medication. I felt a lot better with just therapy.
I kind of miss my old user name...
this has always been me.
You need to try and feel better for yourself first and then for your children. Depression sucks the big cahoonie and our family suffers for it but it also makes them stronger when they see you work your way through it.
I have been on all the different anti depression meds and I do have to change after awhile.. Tell your dr. how your feeling and see if you can get something different or even a cocktail of meds to help you. Your children need you to be strong.. I know you can do this.. Take baby steps towards feeling better.. I wish you peace.. huggins.. thebeast
I had a difficult time understanding your situation.. so if I have something wrong, I'm sorry, just send another post and explain it to me..
Are saying that you are having thoughts of suicide, you think you need to increase the seroquel (which I can relate to because I take it) and when you do, the suicidal thoughts go away?..
But you miss the thoughts of sucide when you do up the dosage, and you want them to come back?
You know these are not your thoughts and you want to stop them before they make you go too far?
Is this what you are trying to say?
Now, what my opinion is, that you need to see a doctor and get your medication straightened out... suicidal thoughts are not something you should want.. perhaps when you increase the dosage, you are not increase it enough, so your mind is wanting the thoughts... or maybe it's not the right med for you. You should have a doctor monitor the amount of your medication at all times.
Call your doctor. Please get the right medication. If you are in immediate danger, call 911...
You have a husband and 4 children..I am sure you love them and they love you.
These are not YOUR thoughts, these are the thoughts of your ILLNESS... it's tricking you.. and you need medical help. It's your responsibility. Please get help now.
There are crisis hotlines under the blue tab at the bottom of this page.. one of them that I advise you to consider is a "Hope Line" which is not a crisis number, but a hope line where someone there will help you to make the right decisions concerning what steps to take.
Please reach out for the help you need and deserve.
(HUGS)
At the moment my thoughts are under control ( I think) so dont want to think about what I could and couldnt do...
Am now on my 7th day of Pristiq and taking seroquel at right dose, so hopefully will stay stable for a long time....can only hope anyway.