So, my understanding is that you were born depressed?
I think maybe you should consider more advanced treatments and seek other solutions out there besides antidepressants.

Feeling well actually isn't a bad thing. A lot of people are afraid of change but if the change is beneficial to you spiritually, physically, and emotionally... I would say try embracing it. You dont want to feel bad all the time so you can try embracing it and seeing where it takes you. Because feeling good isn't a bad thing most of the time.

Try to embrace it. If that doesn't work, I suggest seeking treatment or therapy to learn how to deal with your feelings and emotions, to help organize them.

I would explore this issue with a therapist to uncover how and when these feelings started and then to work through a plan that will help you allow the better feelings to come through bit by bit. You do have the right to feel better but if feelings better is somehow triggering something that sets you back and leads you to self injure in order to feel worse again then that's an issue that needs to be explored more in depth with a professional. And tell yourself that there is an answer to this and that you are finding that answer. Blessings and peace.

I have to agree with the others... I live for the days that I feel ok... I wish I had more of them.. Sending peace and positive mojo your way..

I'm going through the same thing. It's almost like I don't deserve to feel to good. Actually went through that with my therapist yesterday. I'm almost afraid that if I feel good or, worse yet, proud of myself, something's going to happen to teach me that my feelings were unwarranted and undeserved. I have no idea where that started or how to fix it. But I think I understand what you're feeling.

Yes, we all get that feeling, like we don't deserve our happy days.

But we DO deserve them, and we don't get as many of them as we deserve!

I agree with the others, explore these feelings in therapy.

gentle hugs

hello jules, it sounds as if you have serious issues and perhaps a psyciatrist would be helpful, for some reason you feel the need to punish yourself for something or that you must feel low or bad, the reason is beyond my scope but professional help is definately needed. take care.

I agree with a lot of what the others have said. I was wanting to share with you about Emotions Anonymous http://eachat.webs.com/

When I started dealing with what was behind my depression and gad I have found stuff and emotions I didn't know how to deal with (thus the depression). I don't know how far back depression goes for me. I think when I was having success in something I felt good about myself. When I graduated from college the rules changed and then I didn't know who I need to keep happy and the spiral down began. However there was periods of depression in my childhood as well. EA has helped me along with Adult Children of Alcoholics. www.stepchat.com I hope that you are able to get some help to talk through things along with the medication. I have found this to be necessary for my treatment.

im just so scared of my feelings right now, I dont know what to do.....I think when Im feeling good then I can hear my psychotic thoughts more, and they are not good...they tell me that for me to feel good then someone else in the world has to suffer and its my fault....so I go looking for bad events in the world that happen when I feel good and I truly believe it is my fault, just because I feel good...........sounds silly I know but its what I believe and I cant help it.
I have been seeing a psychiatrist for the last 10 years and he knows about these thoughts,, but he doesnt know yet that I have them back again...I see him on thursday, so will tell him then...then he will probably want me to take more seoquel or some other med..I am just so mixed up and I dont know what to do.

Hello! I know what you are going through; therefore, don't ever feel alone. I too suffer from always feeling guilty for being happy. I feel like if I am happy that I am being self-centered. Also, that it's only a matter of time before I feel down-and-out again. It's an absolutely horrible feeling, but please know that many people suffer from it.

What has helped me lately is EMDR therapy, and spending time reading God's promises in the Bible. He says in His Word, that he has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to give us a hope, and a bright future. Our job, is just to believe in it.

God Bless you my dear friend!

I can relate. Kinda feel like if things get better then go back to the way it is then it feels more like the bad feelings are the norm. I'm just trying to remind myself that feelings can't be trusted right now. Struggling with figuring out where reality stops and my feelings start.

I want to feel happy and I want to feel right about feeling happy....I just dont know why I have the thoughts I do...these thoughts are running around in my head and nothing I do will stop them.......as my husband says, I need to learn some technics for thought stopping...my counsellor already tried that last year, but I gave up on it because I wasnt getting anywhere after 6 months and it was costing me a fortune......but I guess I have to try something...cant give up now...have to keep going...there is still hope.