>>Sick of anxiety disorder and dealing with ridged imposible mom.

Seek medical care for one ... and avoid the other.

Tell 'em both:

"You are impossible for me to deal with. You are robbing me of my happiness and diminishing my life force. From now on, I insist you avoid me, and I avoid you."

Back that up with professional medical care as needed.

I can't avoid mom. She is in the hospital and frail 88 years old. No one but me to help except for my brother with personality disorder. He only takes her to doctor or hospital. Wont do much of anything else.

Barbara

I have thoughts of giving up sometimes, but my daughter and parents are the reasons I don't. We lost my brother last August and it would destroy my parents if they lost me too. Remember that there are people who love you and need you to keep going.

You are at a huge cross-roads. You say you can't push your mother out of your life because she depends on you, but then you want to die to get away from her.

Please think about that until it sinks in that you see only two possibilities in your situation. Believe me there are ALWAYS more ways to deal with a situation.

Your mother is making decisions, both knowingly and unknowingly, that are detrimental to her life. In your efforts to help her what is actually happening is that she is pulling you down with her.

You need to stand firm with your mother and tell her that she must take some responsibility for her own situation and make changes that will help her help herself. Your brother needs the same talk.

Then walk away.

This is not abandoning a person who has needs. This is called self preservation for you. For your mother and brother it is called facing the natural consequences of their actions.

Their recovery must be their responsibility. You can make them aware of options that will help them, and tell them about resources that will make their life better (or less bad depending on one's viewpoint) but the reality is that THEY need to make the choices.

I have read your posts elsewhere, so I know this is not a new issue for you. You mentioned your husband, where does he stand in this issue? What is he suggesting that you do? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to him about this. Formulate a plan that helps you AND your husband move forward.

Gentle hugs

My husband doesn't understand anxiety or the stress of mom and brother. He feels I should take care of mom cause she is my mom and needs help. Talking to mom or brother wont help. They are ridged and wont change. My mom would never do whats in her best interest. Even if i told her i would never help her again. She is in the hospital now and might come home in a few days. Someone will be there to help during day for two days. Woman that does laundrey and takes her to doctor. Then she is alone. On a walker two steps to get out of bedroom just out of hospital. Wont abandon her. Wish i could. Have
Seen her coping alone before walker and barely getting by. But obsessed with brother having momey and place to live when she dies.
My telling her i will take care of him doesnt change her need to save money and take care of him while she is still here.

I think you schould think about ......peppers .....advice ....that is good advice ....I am sick of angizity and depreshion ..it is warming me dowen ...but I will never give up ......I won't let it win .....I will do what ever it takes to be ..the best I can be ....and I will have a life .....I will love my children and grandchildren and enjoy watching them all grow ....into the ..intricate ...diferant ..beautifull ..individuals ..they are growing in to ...seeing the world through there eyes ....it can be amasing .....I don't know how I can be in the best place in my life and be ...this depresed ...at the same time ...it makes no sence ...but here I find my self ....so I will fight ..to ...get all I can get out of this the best time in my life .....take care ..everyone ..God bless