Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I do not care if I die. It's the only way out, really. When I think about other people going through hard or actually unbearable circumstances, I always think that there is a way out other than suicide. I feel in my heart that they can pull through because I know that there's people out there that care about them, like their family or friends or even a stranger, if they knew what was going on. But with me, there is no other way. I will never get my life back. I have been humiliated beyond repair. I can't get back on track. I've tried. For many years. Nothing I do matters. It's like I'm supposed to be this miserable. It's like I'm not supposed to live. Like I am supposed to die.Well, I'm ready. I can't stand having to live like this. I have no family. I have no friends, and the people, including family, that are around, they for some reason want me to suffer. I don't get it. This is not a delusion, this is constant hell that they purposely make me go through and have done this for years. What led to that is a long story and I would just sound crazy anyways if I told it, so.... My point is I just think I'm better off dead. I have no life. I control nothing in my life. I am 38 and am trapped. I have never even learned how to be a woman. That takes away all my confidence. I feel stupid, or just I just feel inadequate. I've bee this way my whole life. Never growing, and if I try to be happy, it's like that;s not acceptable because it's me. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm ready to die. I know I'm going to hell because I don't pray anymore, and I want nothing to do with God. I now He's real but I know He doesn't like me. He can't, not with so many people that hate me. I wish I was never born. I'm jut ready to stop breathing. I swear I just want this to end.
I will then be in Paradise. There is no such thing as
Hell. That concept is made up by people. God didn't
care about me in this life, but He will when I get to
Heaven. There is nothing in this world worth living
for. I hope you find some peace.
Like yanno when you are staring in the fridge for something (like I just was for the parmesan cheese!) and you can't see it...you know it is there, it has to be because you just used it or bought it, right?... you yell out "Hey, anyone know where the parmesan is?" No one does. So you are *just about to give up* when suddenly you notice it was behind the milk, the entire time....
;) (I'm just being a little silly ... I really hope not to undermine the seriousness of your situation here...ok? *hugs* really believe that you should keep going and find what you need, that is all I mean...)
myfight, you need to take these 2 words and hold on to them as your identity. you need to fight and to do that you need to get some help...now! you need to call your local suicide hotline, the 911 operator, or friend who will take you to a hospital. you do not need to feel like this. none of it is true. i know, i am still fighting and i've lost everything i ever had, including my only child. i live in poverty with a mate who is an alcoholic/drug addict/disabled with bipolar and copd. but if we weren't together we probably wouldn't be alive...him and my dogs, my babies. you have to find something that is yours and love it fiercely. even, or maybe only, an old stuffed animal. remember that smell, the softness, how safe it made you feel? you need that now.
please don't kill yourself, you can get past this pain. hugs and puppy kisses